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Disable And Afraid To Be Hurt Again!

Hi, I would like to share my experience; but at the same time I would like to have some feedback, some of your own experience or advice if you do know what I am talking about.
 


I had a car accident, to much work, stressed. I went to a family doctor that knew type, kind of work I do and that I was running my own business.
instead of giving me some sleepy pills, gave me some stress pils, 2 to 4 a day.
After my 3 day taking the meds, I back out, went off the road, down the ditch, up and hit a tree.
Broke my back spinal cord injury, 3 verb fused. accident in April 2008, still no feeling or movement, however I continue doing exercises for legs and arms, muscle stimulator for legs and abs and back, watching my weight and trying to keep up with a positive attitude and hopping to walk again!
Knowing how I am, I have the feeling and trust and faith that I will get back some movement for walking and feeling as well.
I am working hard to accomplish my goal.
My problem or the one that I dont know how, what or how to deal with is afraid to be hurt, it had been very hard to keep up this crazy attitude that NO to many people can understand.
In my own wheelchair all this time I had a few accidents that hurt me and for example driving, I cant go over 80, cant speed more than that. I am afraid to loose control, driving with hands is different is not the same control using both hands to hold the wheel than having only one hand to hold on.
An accident in the car, a fall during winter time, I used to have like hobbies horse back-riding, scuba diving, fencing, sky diving, sports that I could feel the adrenaline running all over me. Now I dont think or feel that I can do that any more.
I had see some videos of people that are in wheelchairs doing wild things like ski, I had asked and there responses dont answers my questions.
If I asked someone that is paraplegic if it is not afraid of skii doing an excellent performance no doubt. Many times the answer is I am already paraplegic, disable, I cant get more hurt and I wonder what about Quadriplegic, braking your neck going all the way down, not able to clean yourself do just the most basic things, wait until someone is there to help you out. It is already hard to be paraplegic, many things that I cant do any more, change a light bulb, something very easy and basic, nothing extraordinary, now completely realized is not get any worse?
I cant deal some days with my pain, weather conditions or something that push my bo and I am feeling upset or frustrations for daily bases.
My logic tells me for example, if you have a brake in, in your car or house, you are going to take some extra precaution, careful on where you park or maybe installing an alarm for either your car or house, you maybe do something, some people dont but why you have to learn the hard way.
I hope you do undertand the idea and feeling that I am trying to transmit to you.
Thanks.

 
Paraplegic08 Paraplegic08 41-45 Oct 20, 2011

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