Confused Heart

He does not want me to talk to him. He does not want me to love him. He is pushing me away. And this time I am not fighting. I am sad that I am not fighting. My heart has grown numb. I want to love him but his response is to push me away. He says that he is afraid. But his actions when he is afraid hurts me dearly. My heart is afraid to love. My heart is afraid of him. How did we come to this? I never wanted this to be has it is. Every comment I try not to let it show, affects me in the most negatively way possible. He is starting to ignore my texts. He is getting caught up again. My eyes want to water, they want to cry. But I am stronger than this. I am not going to let this. let him hurt me twice. hurt me again. I would just let him win. or let him think he is winning. When I cannot see him anymore, that's when I will turn away.

I love you. I hate you. No, JUST LEAVE. ~ Sya