BlindsightedWell a couple of months ago my bf broke up with me. He says the main reason was our lack of security and the fact that he lived in another state.
First of all both of us were having issues with job security when we met so nothing really had changed unfortunately since the start. Secondly, he was the one who had moved due to him exploring his career prospects. To me these were not reasons out of our reach to change and would not be permanent meaning they were not good enough reasons to break up. He wouldn't hear me out and seemed to think he was right. After some time now I have been thinking more about our relationship and realized that he had control issues throughout the relationship. He wasn't very good at compromises. Whenever he felt very strong about a decision he would override my thoughts on it. So yes I definitely didn't see our relationship coming to an end when it did, but I realized that he lacked some very basic skills that every relationship needs to have and work on. Tolerance for if the other person disagrees with you and reaching a compromise that both can live with. Stamina that keeps you working on the relationship even when things are less than perfect. Nothing is all sunshine and flowers and it's a two way street of giving and receiving that should continue throughout the relationship. I guess we didn't have a chance to work on this because he had to bale. What is sad for me is that I was willing to do anything it took to be together and keep fighting to improve our relationship and he gave up when it got difficult. Sad really but someday I'll get over him and get on with my life with someone special again. Too bad he didn't see himself as that someone special.
I have to admit that I am a little afraid of getting hurt again, this one has been hard for me to understand and get over. The pain just won't quit, I keep remembering all the good times like walking to the farmer's market holding hands on Summer days. Dancing out in City park to the Summer night bands. Making toasts to each other while we split a bottle of wine. Throwing snowballs in the cold winter snow. Planting bulbs in his garden bed. Attending yoga together, and walks in the park.