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Scared of Getting Pregnant

I'm really scared of getting pregnant, me & my partner both want kids, I'm 28 now and have kept on putting it off each year cuz i am really scared. I want 2 kids of my own. My dad died unexpectedly nearly 4 years ago, whom I was close to. Since then I have suffered panic attacks, I cant watch anything to do with hospitals, I have to avoid blood, arguements, feeling sick and any kind of pain can trigger an attack. I'm not so bad now as I try to avoid everything. What really scares me about the pregnancy is the feeling and being sick, having blood testst cuz I nearly pass out, trouble breathing if I have a panic attack and then worst of all the labour, i cant see myself coping with it at all. I used to be happy and normal, things like this would never get to me, but I am the total opposite now which really hurts me.

Does anyone recommend anything, apart from just getting on with it???

shellsy shellsy 26-30 6 Responses May 19, 2008

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I put off having children for 10 years after I was married because of the fear of the pain. I used to pass out in health class. Talking about medical stuff made me light headed. But, I eventually decided I'd like to have children, like to have someone to be friends with when I got older, as I became friends with my mom as I aged. Yes, there is pain in child birth. But yes, there are medications. This isn't about medieval torture! Your doctor will work with you. And its true that you forget the pangs of child birth. When I came home from the hospital with my first baby, I was 30, I told my husband I didn't think I could do that again. Within 18 months, I gave birth to my second child, and that was so much easier than the first. I had decided to have a second child because the first one was such a delight, I wanted more! And I went on to have a third child when I was 35. All beautiful, healthy, normal children.

I got used to the needles. Didn't see blood, never watched when they drew it. As for panic attacks, well, I've only ever had one, and that was about my marriage, not childbirth, so I can't help you there. But really, your doctors are the ones who should be able to help you with these issues.

Sometimes I wish I'd had children when I was younger, but then I wouldn't have the 3 wonderful kids I have now. They are 14, 18, and 19 now and I'd do it all again, really. And I did put it off 10 years because I was afraid of the pain, but you get through it. My first baby was induced. So, I knew the night before I gave birth that tomorrow was the day I'd dreaded for years. But I decided I needed to get some sleep because after this, it would be hit or miss. I decided to put the worry out of my mind, focus on something else, I actually ended up singing nursery rhymes in my head! That helped me get through til the morning.

Anyway, if you want to talk more, I am here. I'll answer any questions I can. A great book for expectant mothers is "What To Expect When You're Expecting". Tons of good info in there.

Best of luck to all of you - a wonderful adventure awaits!

I know exactly how you feel! I'm trying to do research in to as I do feel I have a phobia.

I'm also 28 and have been putting it off for years I work with children and would love some of my own, I don't really want to be any older than 30 and time is running out . What really scares me about the pregnancy is the pain, I avoid going to the doctors as I pass out I've never had blood test, I also suffer with panic attacks, and cant watch anything to do with hospitals and also try to avoid everything. I have looked into adopting or surrogacy as I'm so scared but my partner does not what to go down that route.

It is nice to know i'm not the only person that feels like this. I hope you get it sorted.

i think you are suffering from anxsiety (not to great at spelling) i would go to your gp and discuss it with him/her x

Don't ever do something you're not ready for because having a child is a great responsibility as well as a financial one. You would have to sit down and talk things through with your partner and discuss everything as well as look at both your current situations. Trust me I know...it's a lifetime job with no positive guaranties how things will turn out

Tell you what, my epidural made it so I literally could feel nothing below the waist. Delivery didn't hurt at all. It was hard work, no doubt about it, but well worth it. If you really want kids, stop putting it off, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I can't say for sure how you'll actually cope with a pregnancy, but the hormonal changes in pregnancy actually made my depression EASIER to deal with, and this while I was having to be off my medication for the baby's sake.

My daughter is the delight of my life. Think a dog's unconditional love is wonderful? It's nothing to a child's love. And she loves me no matter what mistakes I make.

Definitely agree that therapy could help---refusing to talk about/deal with something only allows it to fester, and then it'll get worse. Trust me, the 5 years I spent avoiding therapy and medication made my illness MUCH worse.

Hope this helps.

its a scary process to think about but im sure it has enough Plus's to balance out the situation.... lol but i wouldnt know..havnt had one.