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My Love

i love my boyfriend i honestly do. weve been together for 4 years and i feel the passion slipping out of this relationship. we aruge constantly and at times i feel as though things wont change. i feel like we are growing apart and im losing the best part of me. i feel lost and im completely afraid of losing him losing my love and a part of my life.
xlovelyxdarknessx xlovelyxdarknessx 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 9, 2010

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Thanks for reading my story, i feel strongly obligated to reply due to the fact that i was in your state just a year ago. Remember you afraid of losing him because you associate your happiness with him. It is completely natural to feel this way but understand that there is an individual that exist without him. There is a person capable of living on their own and more importantly being happy. You without any outside influences must make a decision for yourself. If you feel strongly about this now, it wont go away with improve communication or in time. Be brave and direct.

I've learned through similar experiences as well. I say throw yourself into it. It's been four years? That's an investment, maybe counseling or something similar is needed. When my ex and I went through that we both pulled back. Thinking, "well I'm not going to change until they show they are changing." and we missed out entirely on each other. Now we're both miserable. So think about a few things that really bother you, and then grab his hand, get his attention and ask him what you're doing that bothers him. Then be prepared for his answers. You'll have to be open and honest with yourself and not defensive.

If you want to save this then you'll have to take the lead on repairing it. Once you accept his issues with your behavior, work on it. Then you can talk about his behaviors and what you aren't liking. He'll be more ready to reciprocate to your needs when he sees you changing for the better as well.

And, sadly, if it doesn't work and a break up is necessary, then you'll have great practice of communication and working through problems with the next guy. I know it sounds harsh, but most anything can be overcome with communication and understanding, and the right person.

I literally went through this exact situation two weeks ago, like identical situation... then i lost him on Tuesday.

Constantly people told me not to hold on to tight, and never to give my entire self away and I didn't listen when I really should have. Not only is he gone, but I am stuck trying to live alone and love me for me which I haven't had to do in a long time. This sounds bad but it is almost a relief for me that it is over, as I gave everything to him and worried constantly working myself into a panic when he wasn't acting "normal". I really hope everything gets better because I definitely know what your going through!

i know but i feels like half of our relationship is made of sour times. i thank you for commenting it means a lot to me

I know exactly what you mean! I'm in the middle of a breakup that I'm desperately trying to fix. I've gone two weeks without him, and I just have this huge HOLE in my life. I'm trying so hard to get him back, and I don't know whether it will work or not...



I think in life the most important thing is having someone to love. I don't care how needy that sounds... I have a job, I go to school, but none of that means more than love!! I hope someone understands.



I hope you guys get better, but FYI every relationship has a "sour" time. I went through a few in my 8 years w/him, and we always got over it. It just takes commitment and sacrifice, which I know you're completely willing and capable of doing. Best of luck to you!