Just Getting It Off My Chest

I love you. I am in love with you. I am in love with the idea of you. I am in love with the idea of being with you. If fear didn't exist Id run up to you, kiss you, and tell you that I love you.
I saw you in my sleep again last night. I dreamt that we kissed, it was amazing. We kissed over and over, It was better than any real kiss I have ever had. This morning I woke up tingling all over with excitement……...I crashed when I realised it wasn't real. I felt as if all my dreams had come true and for that second……. well I've never been happier.
I remember all the little things. I remember when you smiled and me, biting the corner of your mouth as I left your place that night. Should I have kissed you then? I remember when you blew me a kiss from across the room on your birthday. Should I have kissed you then?
I hear songs that remind me of you, I see pictures that make me think of you. I look at your Facebook just to feel close to you when you aren't around. I kiss your photo goodnight. Whenever I am anywhere you might be, I am looking for you the second I walk in the room. And even just seeing you from a distance makes me feel like the world is right. Whenever I get a text message, I hope its from you. You are the reason I check my phone 30 times a day to see if you've called……. even when I know you haven't. I can talk to a hundred people in a day but none of them can make me smile like you can in a minute.
I am not perfect, but I will give you what I would give no one else. Id give you the ability to hurt me and the trust that you wouldn't. Id be vulnerable for you. Im sure id make you mad at times, but Id always make it up to you. If I do make you mad, yell at me. If I make you happy, smile at me. Id make you laugh, Id make you think twice, I make you believe in yourself. Id tell you that you are beautiful and amazing and the strongest person I know. Id tell you that you look cute when you're trying to be tough. Id tell you that you need to speak to your mother with more manners. Id stare into your eyes to make sure you were ok, even if you said you were. Id clean up after myself, Id always let you have the remote - seeing you happy is better than watching any movie. Id cook for you, Id leave you alone when you wanted space. Id play games with you, I'd fix **** around the house cos I'm a real man. Id pull over to check the map, Id let you have all the cupboard space and Id hold you tight just because…….
You have let me into your life and showed me that there is no where else Id rather be. I love your family, I love your friends……….most of them anyway. Even they all think we should be together, they hint and joke. And when they do I smile at the thought.
So what are you thinking? Its so hard to wait around for something you know may never happen, especially when you know its EVERYTHING you want. But I know I will.
I want you so be brave and want me back. I want you for real!
I have this urge to tell you all this, mainly in the hope that you will feel the same. But I love loving you and guess I will continue to no matter what. The theory of the multiverse says that there are infinite parallel universes containing every possible situation. This makes me happy because I know, somewhere, you love me back.
So for now, if I'm lucky, Ill see you when I fall asleep.
JR83 JR83
26-30, M
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

So people - should I tell her?

you have to tell her, im litterally bawling right now that was so beautiful i wish i could put my thoughts together that well and let my girl know how i feel cuz i dont know how much longer i can hold on to my relationship and because of that i can tell you with absolute certainty that if you dont tell her you will never forgive yourself