Not Just Scared - Terrified

i've been controlling my emotions for years, i use to be very good at in fact. But these days i'm having more problems at controling, it's like what use to a calm lake has become the raging and i'm hard pressed to keep it all locked behind my mask.

I'm terrified that i will lose that control, last time i competely lost controll and saw red was with a girl who had being bullying me for years and i snapped. i grabed her by the throat, lifted her up by it and threatened if she ever said anything to me again i'd kill her. Though i was praised for it by friends and told it was an understandible reaction by my teachers at the time it still scares me - what if i do it again? what if i go further?
Corlath Corlath
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 17, 2010

i will deffinatly try that, hopefully it will help calm everything. unfortunatly deep breaths don't help, just pain which has it's own downsides

I know what that's like. I have a similar problem. I find writing in a secret journal helps a lot. Just make sure no one finds it or it may cause more problems. Or you could try the deep breath thing. I know it sound redundant but it works. You also should worry about it to much that will only make it worse. 