Terrified

It takes a lot of my energy to restrain myself from doing hurting others when I get pissed off. It hurts so much to restrain myself like someones squeezing my heart. I'm terrified of what I could do to others. I'm scared that the inner angry me will get out and release her rage upon the world. I need to stop this beast from erupting, but as the days tick by my control over her is slipping if I don't let 15 years of pent up rage out soon i fear the worse. I may kill someone or kill myself to stop myself. If I could cry i would, but I can't. Crying is for the weak I may be fragile but I wont stoop down to being weak ever.

deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Mar 8, 2009

This sounds like something ive felt before, and surprisingly at a very young age. In my experience it was fueled by self doubt and hurt and betrayal and was disguised by this intense uncontrollable crazy anger! Can you trace your feelings back to your past?