Well

I am scared of myself. The other day I just had a screaming match with myself in the mirror. I can realize my problems all I want but I just... can't seem to change them. I want help so badly but I'm afraid of what will happen to me. I'm afraid that I will lose the only good things I do have in my life. I have no one that I can talk to about things like this. I often look online for help. I'm a horrible person. I can see my illness hurting other people and I can't help it. People think it's my choice but it's not. I can't help it. I am a failure. I can't do ANYTHING right. I hate my life. I hate having to hide these things. It makes me want to die. It's all too much. I can never stop any of my addictions... they always start back up some time or another but I must admit, my eating disorder is pretty much gone(i think), but it took so long. Does anyone feel this way? I hate being alone.

irealeeamakat irealeeamakat
18-21, F
Jan 18, 2010