Hypocritical Me

***** me and i bleed, then scream and run hysterically out of the room yelling obscenities at the poor hematologist or unlucky soul in their place.

i can remember hating needles since i was a little little girl. parents took me to the doctor for shots, and i threw a tantrum for over half an hour, crying about the pain and torment i was going to receive. i complained and voiced so much that the doctor was able to give me my immunization before i even knew it.

now if i have to draw blood, i am like a 25 year old baby, and try about anything to get out of it. i am not afraid of the sight of blood, not even mine, even in larger quantities, but i will be damned if you want to stick a huge ol' honkin needle in the center of one of MY veins. they're mine. get your own.

now here it is, the hypocrite in me. i hate, loathe and am afraid of shots and needles, but then there is tattoos. i love them, and i think that is the only reason i can deal with the needles. i think the fact that it is not entering all the way into a vein is part of the motivation for coping. i am also sure that realizing that there will be a *hopefully* beautiful outcome from the pricking, that helps me deal a bit too. it is not the pain of injections, it is not seeing it enter my body. i get it watching other people get shots, i get it just because i feel that penetrating of tightly exposed flesh by a cold hollow foreign body, seeking entrance to my domain. *cringe* it's kinda like a pop. yuck.

i would be soooo hosed if i became diabetic- no offense to those with diabetes which is a very serious disease. i just don't think i could give myself insulin if that was the type of diabetes that i had.  good news is, i don't think it would be easy for me to get addicted to injectable drugs, cause well i couldn't shoot up to save my soul.

lostcancerian lostcancerian
36-40, F
3 Responses May 5, 2007

Check out richardmackenzie.co.uk he's a really good hypnotherapist. You can down load mp3 hypnotherapy sessions to deal with all types of phobias including needle phobia.

cmost- i think i would completely have freaked out! how did you deal?

I was terrified of needles and getting shots as a child. Once they had to strap me down to give me a shot in the butt. My dad had to help the nurse control me I went wild! The funny thing is about 4 years ago I went to school to become a Medical Assistant. We had to learn to draw blood and give injections. So who do you think we practiced on? Yep thats right each other! Some schools only work on dummies but my school we did the real thing to each other. I was mortified at having someone stick me let alone someone inexperienced! But that was the trade off! You had to let your classmates stick you if you were ging to be able to stick them. You had to have so many blood drawls and injections done in lab in order to graduate and it was alot! Needless to say I was like a human pin cushion. I am no longer affraid of needles after having been stuck over a hundred times!