I Am Not Ready

Hi I am Elizabeth and I am 17  I was dating a guy for seven months and we decide to have sex  it was my first time and at the time I throught I love him you  and all my friends were doing it so we had sex and it hurt really bad and he told me he love me and everthing  well about two week later He told me he lost all the feelings he had for me and he broke it off well since then  I havent had a bf  and it been four months  cuz I am to scary to get in another relationships  well right now I found me a sweet guy who want to to be with me but

I am to scare to be with him  how do I handle that?

sweet17 sweet17
18-21, F
7 Responses Nov 25, 2006

Also something i do elizabeth. Ask my male friends and relatives who are older for their opinion. To use my own judgement girl. I straight up started reversing they re medicine on them and seeing how they like it? Obviously they don't. I show them a perspective of themselves and it's like stop that. It's not the same view for a man than it is for woman. I'm like who told you woman like that? Another thing guys who are young will tend to fool around until 30 if even that. Not all but some.

This ones easy. You can get with him or wait and see if hes what you want for real.As far as sex put a time limit on it so you don't make the same mistake 2x.
I'm 25 and been choosing the wrong person for years. Finally found my one but conscious took that away from me.

Take it slow dont let anyone talk you into doing domething you dont want to do also remember most guys wlll tell you anything to get in your pa.ts thay will even tell you thay love you take it slow

The whole subject of sex needs to be discussed in a rational and public forum. Children (yes, I consider 17 a child) are overwhelmingly eager to learn about everything and that includes the sexuality of their own bodies. Teaching them must be done with truth and honesty else we lose their trust, but the truth is the only way to insure that they have the data to make good desicisions on the related subject.

I am very blessed that the first person I had intercourse with is now my husband, but I regret giving him that gift prior to our wedding night. As the other two ladies who've commented on your experience have said, virginity means much less to guys because you can't look any direction in any culture, not even into Christian culture, and see celibate men. On the other hand, women are being bombarded by pictures/videos/products being sold by scantily clad gals. Have you ever noticed that, in women's magazines, the ads often feature women in their undies, but men's mags don't feature MEN, they feature WOMEN IN THEIR UNDIES! I think the message, intended or not, is that women have to go further to earn love, respect, security, etc. than men have to go.<br />
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That being said, you now know, sadly, what it's like when a guy's at the age where he only wants one thing. Sex is not how you tell someone you love them. Go out with this great new guy! Have fun! Learn about one another, your pasts, your futures, your likes and dislikes, your dreams, your favorite foods, bands, movies, books! If he pressures you to have sex with him, and you don't feel ready, tell him so, and tell him why. If he respects you, he'll understand and back off. If he continues to ask for it, then Elizabeth, he's just like the last guy.<br />
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God bless you, sweetie. It's so tough to be a young person right now.

you poor thing.you have learned the most important lesson about men for the rest of ya life.after we hit it we say forget it.he was ya first and there will be more.just remember that you only give ya body when u want cause alot of guys pressure you then after they get it they dissapear.you'll be fineggood luck

Don't sweat it; what's done is done. Virginity only means what we build it up to mean and if you let a bad experience, even if it was your first, get control over the way you live your life then all you're doing is letting people who don't deserve as much as a second thought have power over you. So your former boyfriend was a d**khead male and just wanted sex - they generally don't even consider what virginity means to a girl, because they're taught that if you don't use it you lose it and aren't even aware of the mantra that's imposed on us girls about how special sex is! Look, when it comes down to it - it's not that special. Of course you shouldn't let just anyone have sex with you because it is a very intimate thing, and if you're going to let people have that much control over your body it is important that it feels right for you. Don't let your experience with your ex ruin your other relationships. Do what you know YOU want to do. You think this guy's hot? Great! Go for it. When, and of course if you eventually feel you really want to have sex with him, do it and enjoy it. Sex is great! If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it. But don't hold back!