Child Abuse

Ok so I'm gonna keep this short.  I was molested as a kid over a period of 5 years by a family member.  As you can imagine, one of the many results is that I'm really scared of having sex (yes I'm still a virgin).  I've experienced very little, sexually, because I fear the idea of being so physically and emotionally vulnerable with another person.  I fear both physical touch and emotional intimacy.  Is there anyone who's had a similar experience?  Any words of encouragement?  Basically I just wana know if I'm the only one like this out there :P 

WorkInProgress88 WorkInProgress88
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 9, 2010

I have the exact same story, except mine lasted for about 12 years. So i think in a way it shapes you who you are if its not a one off thing. It bothers me as well when i see some one looking at me in a sexual way that they just wanna take me home kinda thing, and i feel small and petty like i am just another vagina for him to use. I think the past experience makes us think of sex as a form of abuse that doesnt take our feelings into account. Both people want/wanted the same end game, and it triggers a fight or flight thing i suppose. I dont think i can be blamed for it, at the same time i know there is something beautiful about it that i probably cant see. IT could be all in my head, but that stuff takes ages to get over.

You're not the only one. I have the same problem myself. I have no interest in dating and people say I should give it a try and have sex, but I'm scared and my past haunts me.