I Fear Fear..

I'm afraid to be afraid. Which in the end just simply makes me scared. I'm afraid that if i act like my real self then people will think i'm creepy or just plain out weird. I always say being weird is a good thing but then again i'm probably a hypocrite which makes me scared of myself. I'm afraid people will think of me as uncool or as simply just a freak. I want people to like me and if they don't it makes me really awkward. I just wish i could act the way i act around my best friend, i act like myself around her because she doesn't think i'm weird. So i suppose i should try it around other people. I did it to my friend and she thought i was weird but loved it. I have a unique personality just really fun. I'm scared of myself and people's reaction and i'm afraid to be afraid.
I suppose my advice would be that if people don't end up liking you then i mean whats the point of trying to get them to like you? Their not your real friends in the end if they rejected you once, wouldn't they reject you again? I guess it starts within and that you should accept yourself for who you really are. Thank you
addicted2breathing addicted2breathing
13-15
1 Response Dec 1, 2012

When you don't like yourself, you tend to think that other people see you the same way. In other words, you think people see right through you. But from the other side of the story, when you pull away from them, they think you don't like them and they pull away from you.The strange thing is you actually create the feelings in others that you have of them. I think I said that right:) I do have one tip. I can't make you feel good about yourself, but I can help you to feel better. The concept is feedback. Your behavior reflects how you feel. Conversely your feelings are reflected in your actions. If you change one, you automatically change the other. I know this works because I do it myself. When your nervous and involved with your own anxieties, your behaviour reflects it.Your shoulders droop giving you poor posture. You seem to be "somewhere else". You don't even think about your posture, you just automatically react. Try behaving the way you DON'T feel and believe it or not you'll begin to feel just like you appear. But you'll have to continually practice it. Become aware of it. Over time you WILL feel the way you behave.Another way to look at it is "you fake it till you make it.
In my case, I have a great deal of difficulty looking people in the eye but if I stand up straight and keep a good posture these feelings ease and I can function better.
Another piece of advice is to seek counselling. Overtime you'll begin to understand the reasons you feel this way and resolve it.
There is another possibility. Subconsciously, you may not really want to feel differently. Because that would force you deal with complex human interactions which you would rather avoid. Your discomfort may solve some problems but at the end of the day, it just a wall between you and others. And it's a very lonely life. All this I said is what I know from my personal experience and some of it may not apply to you but I'm 68 years old now and I've missed many joys in life that I may have had. Maybe you'll have an easier time of this than I did. Best of luck to you and have a good life.