Love Doesnt Always Has To Hurt, Right?

For about almost three years I have been with a girl or at least seeing her and well
not many good things happened.
Back in jr yr of highschool we declared our feelings to each other and I asked her to be my gf.
She responded with a yes and well as you can tell we were a couple. Well for about two weeks we were having a great time
and we were the "cute" couple according to our friends and well it felt nice knowing that everything was going well. The next two weeks were just constant fighting because i apparently took too much time focusing on my music(Im a musician) and didnt pay attention to her. She was not being very supportive and I tried to tell her that in a few days I had a huge musical event and I needed some support. She kept fighting me until we broke up. It only lasted a month. So then I kinda just took my seperate way and i dated someone else for a little while and then we ended our relationship....

So then after a few months passed by(senior yr), I started to see my first ex girlfriend. We became close friends and then started to date un-officially and it was actually pretty nice. Well we did that for a long time and of course we had our ups and downs,happens to everyone... We went to prom together and it was a really good night after all our constant fighting... She always told me she loved me and all these really nice things but I wasnt able to say it back because i didnt know what love was. She asked me one time why i didnt say it back and I told her the truth. She felt rejected and well we fought again because she couldnt understand my feelings. We then came to the conclusion we couldnt really be seeing each other but that didnt last long cuz we became "friends" again. Later she put together a small get together that I was invited to but did not attend, but she made out with one of my friends and she said she was "dared".. Whatever Immature right??

With graduation just around the corner she invited alot of our friends including myself to her grad party. Two days before her party she texted me she was hanging out withs some dude. Of course she was trying to make me jealous and it actually worked. I was pretty pissed off when she told me. Then the next day we were talking via text messaging and told me she wanted to, you know, "hook up". I told her "we will see what happens" I may sound like im rejecting but I was not over the fact she was hanging out with some other guy. You might ask, Whats wrong with hanging out with someone of the opposit sex? I ask that all the time. Since i was still mad about that or kinda upset I didnt "Hook up" with her. The day after the party i find out from one of her friends that two days before the grad party the girl i was seeing had sex with the dude she was "hanging out with". Whats so bad about this situation was that two days later she wanted to "hook up with me". This was a huge slap in the face. Finally she spilled what she did with that one guy and told me, we fought, and cried.... After that horrible situation we decided to try to make it work again and forget about the past. I told her i we wont bring this up ever again. We were doing fine, but there was another problem. I Finally told her i love her. It was a nice moment. I finally declared my feelings!!... Ha!! well she kept hanging out with other guys and well that bothered me alot. ALOT!!!! It was a huge slap in the face again and well we fought and argued again about that. My feelings are declared and she kept letting guys hang out with her and let them hit on her. oh but she loved me??? So now to this day we ended what we had and well we are barely friends. From what she has told me it kills her insidet that we wont have another shot to make things work. I loved her i really did. but what she did was not cool. There was alot of negativity in our relationships. I am afraid in falling in love again and I hope the one girl can prove to me that love doesnt always have to hurt the way it hurt me.
dan4life dan4life
18-21, M
Oct 23, 2010