This Seems to Happen Often With Me ....

You find the perfect lover, you fall in love, you love, you cry! Sometimes I just don't want to let myself love again ... and yet, I need to love someone, I need to be loved.....

kinkitty kinkitty
36-40, F
31 Responses Mar 9, 2008

all the rewards come to people who take risks !

Hi Everyone<br />
<br />
Typed into the internet Scared to Love and this site came up.<br />
<br />
So here we my early 40s and alone. Since my marriage broke up in 2002, which I eneded it which I didn't realise took me a long time to get over. In 2008 I decided to date and the three men I met ...well were disasters. The first two were not over their exs and I knew it but I still went there...and then I went out with and older man 62 who was awful. I am in therapy and also training to be a therapist. It is now nearly 15 months and I have abstained from men, sex, flirting and looking. Time is passing by and I have shut myself off and well I am not that kind of person, I am warm, open, funny, kind, intelligent and have lots to give. I feel lonely living like this but safe. What is life without love...? would appreciate some comments.<br />
<br />
B<br />

great to be back.

thanks you all ... I am not hurting now ... don't worry so much!

It's hard to get over the pain, but each time I remind myself that the pain does go away.<br />
<br />
Glad you found yourself again kitty.

ha ha ... we live, we love, we grow, we try. We learn, we love again ... each relationship is a lesson in life, from each we teach something and we learn something, but mostly ... if we are very lucky, we learn something about ourself ... we find our strength that we were unaware off, we find our courage that we kept hidden, we find comfort within when the sadness subsides.

How can one find something if it has never been lost? How can one feel the love if there has never been pain? How to compare that which we got if it was nothing we had.

Oh yeah and we either learn from it or get burned???

Can't feel the love without the pain...Can't be happy without some sorrow to teach us the way! It is just how life is!

here's to love lost and life found like kinkitty would say it ... oh .. mmm .. i am kinkitty! damn!

follow your head. not your heart.<br />
Worked for me.

LOL lets skip the pain ... I have been in pain for 17 years and I am free now!

It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Read it somewhere. <br />
<br />
I still love you though.

Finding true love is worth all the pain that we feel during our search. Though we may not think so at the time.<br />
<br />
One day of truly being loved is worth a month of pain.

yes ... I am more sure of that now then I have been for the past 17 years

Good for you girl!<br />
<br />

ha ha ha ... no, I did not find love .. but I have resolved how I felt about a long lost love ... that's even better.

No rose without a thorn, kiddo. If you want to ride the bus you've got to pay the price.

Since April, kinkitty, I really hope that you have found a love.<br />
<br />
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<br />
<br />

I think both LOL

Mother2045 - lol, I think you are hot too ...

I know what it feels like ... waiting and waiting .. and nothing. (or at least not a shoe that fits)

Sometimes we get the things that we need not what we want. I am trying to convince myself there is a good reason why I pray month after month, year after year for a spouse and nothing happens.

lbblue - Thank you

Life is grand including the hurts....and I think some hurt does us good. Hope your day goes well!

Oh it's ok, they are here now

someone I care about decided to log on late today

Thank you my guru...... I needed to just get perspective again.

Love is a wonderful thing and something that should never be avoided as life void of love creates a void in ones life!<br />
A person who has been hurt, as most of us have at one time or another, needs to take that experience and use it to help make better choices in a future mate. <br />
Often we fall into a trap where we choose the same type of harmful people, ones that are predestined to hurt us as in our past. If we develop a higher level of confidence in ourselves and approaching potential mates with a higher level of discernment we lessen our chances of being wronged by that person. <br />
If we believe strong enough in ourselves where we have a confidence that comes from the inside, the type of confidence in ourselves where we do not need anyone else to define us or provide us with happiness. It is then that we will find true love and no one will ever have the potential to destroy because we believe too strongly in ourselves.

jackass - this in only one of life's mysterious journeys ... we have been created to give and receive love, it's the most wonderful thing when it happens, and then it still holds the potential to destroy us.... sound like me.... 0_o