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Seriously... Why...

I can't go to sleep. I keep all paranoid and afraid. All these illogical thoughts coming into my head. What if there was a monster in my closet? Or under my bed? What if my computer turns on and starts to talk to me? What if my amplifier turns on and I get a strange broadcast from a serial killer? I have no idea where these fears are even coming from, but my mind won't shut off, and every little sound starts to frighten me. Images of spiders and centipedes in my bed keep me jumping out of bed, constantly checking for creepy crawlies. I'm so tired right now, I'm hallucinating, and I keep seeing things jump out of my mirror, but when I shake my head and rub my eyes, I get clear vision for a little while. The house is shaking because the train is rolling by, and all that noise. The lights keep flickering, and I want to turn them off so I can sleep, but I have to keep them on because it makes me feel safe. It magically keeps the monsters away for some reason. I'm freaking out for no good reason. My roommate is right next door, and I'm not going to bother him.

I wish someone was sharing my bed with me right now. I just need someone here, guarding me, holding me, and keeping me safe from all the monsters polluting my imagination! I wish my mind would just shut off and quit thinking of more things to scare me. Illogical, nonsensical fears just start clouding my logical judgement. I'm shaking so bad right now. I am about ready to just crawl into my roommate's bed wither he likes it or not, because I'm seriously that scared right now.

I'm just a big sissy. I know I am. I can't help it.
catboydale catboydale 22-25, M 5 Responses Aug 8, 2012

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Okay Just calm down .. How about you take a break ? on a vacation or a resort take some time to Calm down and Chill<br />
just remember that all of these things are from your mind and Not True and it will never happen Just keep reminding yourself =) Good Luck

Hahahaha. I am on vacation this week.

I think hes mad at me..he signed off. I ****** up again. I was just being honest. I didnt mean it as an insult. This isn't the norm. I am not being mean. I'm concerned.

So I don't think anyone would take what you said as mean ... If he is having a jumanji grudge experience he is likely pretty frantic I would be

jumanji grudge experience...that is an awesome term...Im just saying...being fearful of things like that..I don't know what to call it...and why it could be happening :(

All manner of things can cause it...people have seizures ...hallucinations ... Illness ... Fever ... Intoxication ... Lack of sleep ... Rob Zombie (teehee)... Lets hope it isn't serious and that he gets help

Sorry I kinda freaked out. And no, I was never mad at you. I signed off because I had to go to sleep, or at least do my best to sleep. I got 4 hours of sleep last night.

Thankfully, this is a rare thing. I don't freak out that often, it's just I have an overactive imagination, and I use often. And when I see things that scare me, my mind starts to frighten me. I start thinking of disturbing thoughts and I hate that.

I'm sorry I made you out to be on the verge of a real disorder. Thank goodness you're not mad. Believe me, I can be irrational too at times. If I'm off my Klonopin, I go batshit. Physically I feel like I have the flu. I went in my front door and looked back and thought I saw "*****" carved in the wood on the rail of my porch. I called 911 because I wasn't sleeping well and I woke up from a crappy nap and watched CNN. A man was shot in the streets and they were trying to drag him out by holding out a piece of steel or something for him to grab onto. It got to me. I freaked out. I wanted out of the house and into the hospital. The cops came and had me talk to the crisis center which I had been calling anyway. They were really nice and I felt bad for bugging them with my issues. I had my first panic attack in 1996 before I left home. I could barely eat and got real skinny. For months. It was rare after that but in 2006 it got bad. Its triggered by financial stuff mainly. Yet, sometimes when I should have had them I didn't. When I had to leave the place I was staying at in the mountains and go live in a motel and drop off my cat at a no-kill shelter on a Sunday afternoon in a carrier and hope she'd be OK til Monday morning I didnt have one. I didnt have one in the homeless shelter for those two weeks. I guess being alone didn't help. Last summer was a hard time. I can't even remember how I feel at these times. So I don't think you're weird. I just wonder why this happens. I'm innately curious.

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This is like jumanji meets the grudge... and maybe you need to get a dog.

I think he'd prefer a cat :D
But I think maybe his roommate doesn't go for it...sucks

My doggies make me feel safe all the time ...the kitties don't mostly because they are fraidy cats!

I call my cat my "nurse" lol...she is obedient as a dog and seems to know when I feel bad.

I wish my roommate would let me have a cat or dog!

Me too!

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This almost sounds like schizophrenia :(<br />
The computer and amplifier thing. how long have you suffered like this?<br />
I would hold you..it sounds like you're going through hell

I've suffered off and on, but it was never like this. I've been suffering for 4 days straight now. And it needs to stop because I'm losing sleep and sanity.

I wonder what started it now? That damn game?

Oh it did.

Wow. It didn't get to me..But everyones soft spots are different.

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It's okay :c <br />
<br />
Everyone has bad dreams sometimes. And everyone needs someone to keep them safe. Ask your roommate if you can sleep with him maybe? Just for the night.

No, he's not like that. I view my roommate as my older brother. He is both biologically older than me, and when he age regresses, he is much much older than me, because he regresses to 13. Which means if we both regress, he is 10 years older than me!

I mean, in all seriousness, what 13 year old wants to cuddle up with his 3 year old brat of a brother. hahahahaha.