Seriously... Why...I can't go to sleep. I keep all paranoid and afraid. All these illogical thoughts coming into my head. What if there was a monster in my closet? Or under my bed? What if my computer turns on and starts to talk to me? What if my amplifier turns on and I get a strange broadcast from a serial killer? I have no idea where these fears are even coming from, but my mind won't shut off, and every little sound starts to frighten me. Images of spiders and centipedes in my bed keep me jumping out of bed, constantly checking for creepy crawlies. I'm so tired right now, I'm hallucinating, and I keep seeing things jump out of my mirror, but when I shake my head and rub my eyes, I get clear vision for a little while. The house is shaking because the train is rolling by, and all that noise. The lights keep flickering, and I want to turn them off so I can sleep, but I have to keep them on because it makes me feel safe. It magically keeps the monsters away for some reason. I'm freaking out for no good reason. My roommate is right next door, and I'm not going to bother him.
I wish someone was sharing my bed with me right now. I just need someone here, guarding me, holding me, and keeping me safe from all the monsters polluting my imagination! I wish my mind would just shut off and quit thinking of more things to scare me. Illogical, nonsensical fears just start clouding my logical judgement. I'm shaking so bad right now. I am about ready to just crawl into my roommate's bed wither he likes it or not, because I'm seriously that scared right now.
I'm just a big sissy. I know I am. I can't help it.
catboydale 22-25, M 5 Responses 0 Aug 8, 2012