the Thing That Scares Me Most
In a word: Failure
I worry all the time that somehow I am going to screw up everything I'm doing at the moment. I worry about bills, house payments most of all. I earn just about enough to just get me by and my major problem is I'm terrible with handling money.
One of the ways I get my kicks is living through other people being happy sometimes. I'll pay for people to get some takeaway when we're out, buy them random things, shout drinks, even when I know I can't afford it. It's kind of strange, money is an important thing for me especially, mainly because I have to pay my house loan or you know, I lose it, and then you have your normal bills; phone, electricity, groceries, etc. But in reality I couldn't care less about money. I hate it. And that's when I screw myself over because I'll happily just fork out money for others to have fun and then at the end of the week go. ****, where has my money gone?
Another thing I need to start doing is stop buying junk food so much and buy decent groceries all the time. There is hardly ever decent food at home and it's not because I can't afford to go out and get food, it's because I end up spending it all on expensive junk food when I could be saving money getting groceries to last ages, it's really quite terrible.
But I know I shouldn't worry myself so much, I'm only young and I'm certainly looking at moving up in my job (I hope) I'm actually starting to get into sales area of real estate now as well as just dealing with bloody rentals (which drives me insane sometimes) so who knows, perhaps I'm just stressing over nothing.