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A Window On a Schizoid Life

BudEvidently the most related thing about the author is that he is schizoid. But that does not define me as a whole. Believe it or not being schizoid is just a part of who I am. I am not arguing that it is a very important part and that a lot is rooted by that, but all schizoids are not the same and it will be very restrictive to think that because some people share a common cell in a table printed in some shrink books, that they will all have the same personality… Particularly in the case of schizoids, for whom uniqueness is of the essence.

So that you better understand the blog and my thoughts (http://schizoid-personality.110mb.com)  it is of importance that you understand what the Schizoid Personality “Disorder” (SPD) is. Only then will you comprehend my specificities. Like the fact that I am married, very rare for schizoids, especially male ones. And not just married, but being with my special someone for now over 14 years (hands up for her being able to endure my lack of emotions) take that you “cannot sustain a close relationship for long period of time” shrink definition, I guess you did not think that it takes two people to have a relationship, and I found the one that can sustain it.

Of course being schizoid for as long as I have been (well really since always probably, thought you cannot be diagnosed a schizoid until after the end of childhood, when your psyche is suppose to be conform to the society standards) comes with other personality traits. Without being full blown “disorders”, my being schizoid comes with a side of Shizotypal, Anti-social, and Obsessive-Compulsive behaviours.

Paranoid || 10%
Schizoid ||||||||||||||||||||||| 92%
Schizotypal |||||||||||| 46%
Antisocial |||||||||| 34%
Borderline |||| 18%
Histrionic || 10%
Narcissistic |||| 14%
Avoidant |||||| 22%
Dependent || 10%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||| 26%

I am really not one to put people into tables, but I have to admit this one is pretty accurate. I guess it will be the object of a post to explain it fully. (added post here: “I have to admit“)

Yet again I am more than just the sum of those personalities. For example I am French AND Canadian (do not understand “French Canadian”). Having dual citizenship is merely relevant, but actually having lived into two different societies (and different they are, even if both occidental) is the kind of experience shaping a mind differently.

Take also into account that I have a daughter born (September, 2000) and raised in Canada (Ontario).

The ethnicity, age and sex are also important factors; I am Caucasian and born in December, 1970 near Paris (France). As for the sex, well you should already have understood by now that I am a male.

Finally: I did some things that might not seem very schizoid of me at first glance (being a journalist or a trainer or working in a shared office). Especially if you are looking for some kind of an archetype of schizoid. Know that I do not have Avoidant Personality (often associated with Schizoid Personality) which makes a big difference, and as always, I truly believe that life experience is full of surprises, it brought me in those places, which I hated, but I survived it. Plus, over the years I mastered a few neat tricks, I have my ways around people.

I don’t think the work you do define who you are, quite the opposite actually. Currently, I am a System Engineer (a geek that so happened to be able to do geeky things for a living).

Name is irrelevant (see if I care about prenominology) but I guess you might think it’s nice to know each other, of course I don’t, but hey, I can abbey by your rules… Name’s “Jack” or “Jacques” if you prefer the French touch.

Well with all that I can say, yeah sure, "I Am Schizoid But Coping"

 

Jack,

http://schizoid-personality.110mb.com

 

schizoidpersonality schizoidpersonality 36-40, M 30 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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I wish I knew more about SPD before I went to college, I would have studied computer science or engineering but now that I'm in the business world I feel like I'm just losing my mind with all these people and relationships to manage. Glad to see you're making the marriage/family thing work, I can't even see that happening for myself. My best bet is to win the lottery and get away from everybody once and for all.

hi guys i am 13 years old and i went on a mental health website and did a bunch of tests and stuff and i found out that i was schizoid. to me it is kind of weird but i understand because i have few friends, i prefer to be alone a basically fit the exact description for the symptoms. i just recently found out but now that i look back on it, i am not very sad at all, just apathetic. for those of you who wanted the inside story,well here it is.

All I can say is "run" - My life and my 2 children's lives have been severely affected by my X before I found out what was wrong. Can't even begin to explain what life was like, it was horrid and there was never any answer until...there was.

Hello, I read about the schizoid disorder about two weeks ago due to several online tests. I took the tests because I was watching myself go from an angry, revolting teen, to someone who does not seem to care about anything, and just sits in his room all day programming little video games. I don't know for sure if I have schizoid, but I do know that the only time I actually even considerably speak is when I am around my mom or my two brothers. Even still, the conversation is short, and when I at all attempt opening up I close down once the denial comes in on their part. They don't seem to want me to have any problems because my family already has a lot of problems. The only other reason I see for them not to believe me is that I sit around with them when they do their binge drinking episodes, but this is only because I have a fear of my dad hitting my mother, as I have witnessed him do so, and I despise him for it, although I have quite a hard time expressing that. Other then the fact I do not do anything at all with my father, and when he talks to me, I kind of just walk away. <br />
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I also when they rent movies, watch movies with them, and as mention before, I don't cry on parts some of my family does, and I find it to be a little weird, and just awkward. Other then that, I have no contact with any human being, I failed every class when I actually went to school and told my mom and the staff there, that if I couldn't be home schooled, that I will fail every class until I am 18 and when I am 18 I will commit suicide. I know it seems a little crazy and out of it to say, but I wanted to get away from all the kids who seemed, extremely immature, and just annoying to me. I did not talk to anyone, I just sat in the corner of the classroom and did absolutely nothing. My grades were straight f's. But, I did eventually win and I am now doing online classes, so I can do my schoolwork, and program all day. <br />
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I do not have ANY friends, just a weird not really a relationship kind of relationship with my mom and two brothers. I am a male. I do fantasize a lot about meeting a girl, and having a close relationship, I also fantasize about destroying the world then reshaping it in a way that would fit my head, which would be a deserted, zombie apocalypse, fight to survive kind of thing. I fantasize about that kind of stuff while listening to Deathcore, a form of metal, with screaming, and just things talk about feeling, and how it hurts them, as most of the people who listen to that kind of stuff would be classified as emo, and they usually go through a lot in their lives, and the reason I listen to this is because I like how it sounds, and I am jealous of being able to feel, and I won't listen to other music as it could drag along potential attention I do not really want. Like "Wow, I see you listen to great music like me, so did you like that song?". <br />
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Anyways, I guess why I am posting here, is because I am 14, nobody believes me, and I would really like a truthful opinion hidden from people I will ever see, that could give me a good hint till I finally get to go to some sort of counselor. Yet then when I think about it, I don't really want help, and I do NOT want to talk about all my problems, I just want a simple questionnaire that could determine if I have the disorder, however I suppose that will not happen, oh, and by the way, I have all A's in my online classes, and am doing a summer course to pass time.

I'm 17 and the desc<x>ription of this "Disorder" fits me to a T. Though i am able to develop friendships, i never have the feeling of love towards them, i am not really bothered when i do not seem them and cannot relate when i see them crying over a film or if they see a cute child etc... I am not close to my family and prefer to stay at the house, i think it's because i am not a big fan of large social gatherings as i always seem awkward and shy and sometimes i get a small bit of anxiety. Even with my sisters and mum and dad i just do not feel attached or feel strong emotion for them. I often fantasize about having a romantic relationship, not sexually at all! But when i come to, i just have no interest in meeting people like that. The way i describe it and tbh i new something wasn't right my life, is being in a glass cube and looking out at people, but not being able to properly connect or relate to them in the way i know i should. However during childhood i was a very angry/frustrated child, actually very emotional in those ways, but i turned 15 and every emotion just seemed to drain from my body, i felt completely empty. I had no idea, i thought i was just growing up, becoming mature, but it's not what happened. Though i have never been able to properly express how i feel, when i was younger i was angry, now just nothing, i also used to lightly self harm, punch the wall so i bled, bang my head, cut my wrists with nail scissors etc.... Yet i haven't been able to do that, self is bad i know, but at least i expressed it in some way, i admit sometimes on very stressed occasions when everything just builds up i do it, but i dnt do it for attention, in fact i do it places where it's often covered up, anyway i rarely do it nowadays. <br />
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That was just a bit of a desc<x>ription on how alot of people with the "Disorder" might feel, not all since i realize people are different from me, in some ways. But if u want to empathize on what it's like, try to imagine feeling completely shut down from emotionally reality, looking at people and not really being able to relate, like there's some wall between EVERYONE you meet, no matter who there meant to be to you, it doesn't matter cuz to you they all have no meaningfulness in your world, just like a stranger. <br />
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With Regards to expressing emotions, well it's like being in a straight jacket. You want to express them and want people to understand, yet u just dnt have the ability to do so, nor the patience to wait for them to understand. If they do let u in occasionally, take it slow, dnt push them, let them speak, speak to them as normal person, with a small amount of sympathy but dnt be like "Oh well, its ok my love, we can get u help" etc..... It makes us feel uncomfortable and anxious. Dnt feel bad if they completely shut u out the day after, it's cuz they feel emotionally vulnerable towards you. <br />
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Like i said not everyone is the same as me, we don't all have the exact same traits. No i have not told anyone about this, though it would explain alot to my mum, why i'm such a "Cold heartened cow" Haha. But no, intimacy is really difficult for alot of people with this, they just feel to vulnerable and so defensively avoid it, it's actually alot of the time for me not intentional, i don't particularly realize it, i think it's more of a subconscious thing. <br />
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Signed- Very sociable, emotionless, Schizoid :)

Via la defferance Jacques!!! <br />
Very informative. I'm so glad to hear how well you and you wife have managed. Love conquers all they say.....:)<br />
Be well., and stay true to yourself.<br />
Don

can i just say my dad has this, 100% describes him down to a T! and my mum and dad have been together for 20 years! and he is a pain in the butt to live with but we love him really because we know this is just who he is, BUT.......i truly feel so sorry for my poor mother, i dont think they fit, shes so bubbly, full of joy and happy and he brings her down alot and is hard to live with, im glad im old enough now at 25 to not live in the same house hold because he drove me mad...i just want to help them, help him because he can be lovely when hes not a grumpy old man! and i love him to bits, any advice for me and my mum?!<br />
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<br />
xxx

I have just finished dating a man with a schizoid split. I agree with the posting made in which the writer said that everything was her fault.....this man would deliberately start arguments by asking my opinion when already he had an answer that he knew would not match my own. When I dared to tell him how defended his ego was, he said that I was always wanting to argue. <br />
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I found the schizoid split man challenging because there was an incredible attunement to the subtle energy field, but when we both landed on the planet with our emotions, there was no connection. If I dared speak about how I felt hurt, inevitably I was trying to argue with him (or so he thought). When I spoke about personal experiences (because he had just shared some of his), he would say that he needed to take a break from talking....basically he meant, "Shut up. I do not want you to talk anymore." Then he would lie down and begin to comment on the music in the room or random ideas that he might be having. He was easily flooded, but he could never see that his being flooded had nothing to do with me but more related to attachment issues with his mother. <br />
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The amount of anger being held in by this fellow with schizoid split was exhaustive. I just wonder if people in general who suffer from schizoid splits have actually split off from their anger....and I genuinely ask this question with sincere curiosity. It felt to me that his anger was a huge invisible wall that kept us from relating as two people with emotions.<br />
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I have learned a lot from this relationship. I have learned how to sit with the feeling of being alone and not seen when for no apparent reason your partner withdraws emotionally....I have learned how to stand up for my right as a human to have feelings....and how to not allow myself to be attacked by another's projection of internalized anger. <br />
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The only way I would enter into a relationship with such a entrenched schizoid split in the future would be to seek professional help.

Wow! That sounds exactly like what I am going through. How did the relationship end, if I may ask? I desperately want to work it out with my schizoid partner but don't know if it's even worth it since success rate seems pretty low:/

we are all having the same issues, is there any schizoid out there or mental health professional who can guide us? I've been to another website - lovefraud - which is for sociopaths - the impact on the relationship is nearly the same (IMHO) but, it's not identical.

SCHIZOID PERSONALITY + 5% MOTILITY = INFERTILE.<br />
<br />
I don't think we may have a second baby on our own and I have no hope this man will come with me to the clinic for treatments. :-O

SCHIZOID PERSONALITY + 5% MOTILITY = INFERTILE.<br />
<br />
I don't think we may have a second baby on our own and I have no hope this man will come with me to the clinic for treatments. :-O

Sighsigh!!!!<br />
I got married in 2003 and have been having problems since- depression & panic attacks mostly due to my husband's indifference! <br />
I went to a psychologist who told me that I have histrionic personality and my husband has schizoid personailty. SIGH SIGH SIGH!!<br />
We both love each other but sex is so INFREQUENT. Makes me all the more depressed. Had a baby girl in 2007 after some fertility treatments. The biggest challenge was to get him to do intercourse every 8 hrs after I was given the follicle-rupturing injection. SIGH!<br />
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I've recently started ************ to keep myself happy. I've tried everything- open communication to HYSTERIA for more sex. I'm SIMPLY TIRED of begging for sex. We are Indian and this was an ARRANGED MARRIAGE> If I had been in another culture, I wud have walked off but because of the indian stigma and because I'm unemployed, I'm clinging on. I often dream & fantasise having sex with other man. I ALMOST had an extra-marial affair but consciously got myself off it. SIGH SIGH SIGH. <br />
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I'm tired of going on tour or anywhere else, waiting for sex and not getting any. After my delivery in Aug2007 , sex is like once in a month- or twice- thrice a month cud be a guiness RECORD!!

I have a feeling my husband has a schizoid personality disorder. At first I thought he was a passive aggressive but the more digging I did he seems to be schizoid. He definitely has a blunt affect, he is emotionally unresponsive, introverted and spends most of his time in his room on the computer reading the news and things about computer companies and their latest gadgets. He rarely wants to be intimate with me and even when he is it is very cold. I have been married to him for 8 years now and we have 2 kids. Mine was an arranged marriage so I didn't know what he was really like until after we were married. If I try to discuss any of this with him he goes into a shell and doesn't even want to acknowledge the problem... in fact, he says I'm the crazy one. I'm finding it very difficult to live with him. I myself am quite extroverted. I love meeting friends, going out and I love spending time with my family just talking and laughing. He just sits on the sofa staring into his internet phone. The only time he is remotely animated is when someone talks about computers or planes (the things he is interested in). He loves shows about magic and card games as well. I wish he could recognize that there is something wrong. How can I help him?

I have been in a relationship with a man with schizoid PD for almost six years. He refuses to accept he has an issue, although once he did tell my sister that he had some things he has to deal with. This was four years ago. My experience of him does not fit with the DSM (the psychiatric diagnostic manual). To those who don't know him well he seems quite sociable. To those who know him better he 'has his own particular character'. He is not interested in sitting down and chatting with a group of people but he plays in a band and enjoys that.<br />
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I deeply love him. When we first met he became completely focused on me. He expected the same from me and when my attention went elsewhere he became abusive (emotionally, not physically). I did not have the tools to deal with this and I can REALLY relate to the comment in Pedro's earlier post about her soul being destroyed by the relationship. Whatever the future holds for me, I will always carry large scars from this relationship. Then, after a time he completely switched to being unable to tolerate intimacy with me. He swings between total focus and total shutting out of connection. Sex with him is spectacular...because he wants that total focus but the next day complains that he can't breath (and of course it is my fault). It is ALWAYS my fault. I am the one with all the issues, I am the one who needs to stop demanding things of him, I am the one who should stop damaging or relationship. But, there is no tolerance for discussion. I ask if we could talk about something and he gets very angry very quickly.<br />
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I have tried every way I can think of to function with him. I have tried being understanding, loving, tolerant, angry, truthful, setting boundaries, giving space, being open to whatever etc etc. The only thing that works (for him) is if I swallow any dissatisfaction and pretend I am ok with whatever is coming at me. There is zero empathy and understanding from him as to what it takes to keep my heart open to him. He just simply doesn't understand. It is like a foreign language to him. But, I am struggling to be strong enough to keep this in mind and 'know that I am loved' while he is treating me as he does.<br />
<br />
I think it would be easier if he acknowledged he has a particularly complicated character. I am not into labeling people but I am also unable to carry all the responsibility for the health of our relationship.<br />
<br />
Noone could have told me to walk the other way when we first met. I have grown as a person through this but at what cost?.....It is excruciatingly painful to be so needed but so rejected at the same time.

My husband is an schizoid. He has never been diagnosed. He will never and ever admit having a personality disorder. He believes that all diagnosis of mental illnesses are "ficticious labels" To top it, we are both involved in the mental health profession. He refuses to communicate with me. I mean, he will talk only what is factual or informational such as some subject on the news. He refuses to discuss about our "problems" which keep on mounting and causing ressentments and anger to both or us. And of course, all our issues are "all my fault" He admits that he feels different than everyone else an believes that no one will ever understand him. He feels lonely and I know that. I know he sees himself as a misfit. He is completely and totally shut down to emotional envolvement with me or with anyone else. Yes, I am married to client that I do not know how to handle. But, this one I cannot transfer out. I feel that I need support. I need to figure out if this is a relationship that I really want to stay in. I do somewhat love him, but I have so many ressentments from unsolved and undiscussed problems that have just been shoved underneath the carpet. I do not stand his secrecy. He says that I snoop on his things such as email. I no longer have his passwords and he will not disclose to me. Yes, I did "snoop" and when I did, I found out that he had relapsed into his **** addiction. He changed all his passwords and blames me for having "snooped on his things" Well, he tells me he stoped the addiction. Somehow, I believe in him. Everything with him is so up side down. I do not feel that this marriage will ever be a fullfilling one. The cup is usually totally empty. Just need to vent. Thanks.

that's exact;y how my schizoid wife is to me now... i snooped and now it's really hard. she has stopped all her emotion to me... check out his link... i think this will help you understand your husband. i believe he loves you so much and just doesn't want to be hurt by you again by restraining his longings for you. when you see each other... look deeper into his eyes... you will see that underneath the emotionless facade you will see how much he longs for you and loves you. This is how I feel about my wife. SO we still keep it together although there is the belief of my wife to separate from me... i can only hold on with her... just tolerate his needs of being alone.... i know he loves you that's why his internal saboteur is up.

check this link:
http://www.integrativetherapy.com/en/articles.php?id=44

my goodness, after reading this i felt we had to have sat down and wrote it together after sharing our stories!! amazing! for my husband his addiction was painkillers, painkillers make him like/love everyone and helps him be the person i think he wants to be but is not capable of :(

Will there be some kind of karmanic cycle to all SPD then? ;-)

... And just like that, I am back! and I must say, I am very much impressed with that: "it's like being very, very thirsty but allergic to water."<br />
Son of gun, this is so damn accurate, your man got it right to many levels.<br />
<br />
"IVotedForPedro", no contact from Jon for a while? Then I might have been in the same "place" indeed...<br />
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Crittergrl, you can get some good point of views here... I am a male schizoid trying to make it work with his family, and IVotedForPedro is at the other side of the story, married to a schizoid that left his family. You'll just have to excuse my answers (or lack of them) from time to time...

So, "Pedro" -- tell me more. How has your soul been damaged? And what has brought you peace of mind? I can appreciate your admonition to "Run" -- and I have to say that I wish I could. Damage? Sure. It's already been done. I don't think I could hurt more than I have. But attachments are just that -- they are attachments. Those of us who are not avoidant form them; it's part of being human. The part that confuses me is that, although he is clearly unwilling (and / or unable) to make a commitment to me, he also seems entirely unwilling to let me go. His actions tell me that I am, in fact, important to him, though he seems to vacillates between wanting us to be completely platonic and then occasionally trying to get something more going. Needless to say, I am now pretty unwilling to get involved with him sexually, regardless of how attracted to him I am. I do, after all, need to protect myself to some degree! Please understand : I am no masochist. I might not have the self-esteem of Christy Turlington every single day, but I have a pretty healthy self-regard most of the time. So here is the question, given that, for whatever reason(s), I do love this man. Is it possible to have a "healthy" relationship with someone who is schizoid / avoidant? Is there a degree of understanding and acceptance that makes it possible to enjoy the good parts and minimize the pain?

Hi,<br />
I am not schizoid but have had a year-long close friendship with a man whom I just learned is schizoid. Learning this has been a huge relief, since it explains and clarifies so much that I was confused about. It has been a time of huge leaps of understanding about him and about myself. Right now I am dying to learn more so I know how to better relate to him. He feels terrible loneliness and fear but intimacy and closeness causes great anxiety. I was finally able to articulate it this way : "it's like being very, very thirsty but allergic to water." He said that is exactly what it's like for him. He has a five-year-old daughter and has been married and divorced three times. My relationship with this man is so important to me. We connect on an intellectual level and nobody can make me laugh like he can! I love so many things about him. Truly my love for him is unconditional. It is looking as if I need to make the transition from passionate love to compassionate love -- he, for whatever reasons (that I'm sure have little to do with his SPD) does not see me as mate material. He desperately wants to be married and have a family, but it seems I will not be the one he chooses for that role. Learning this was initially devastating to me -- I am now trying to accept this and move on to being the best friend to him that I can. he brings so much to my life and I am not willing to give that up. So -- I'd love to have some dialogue with people with SPD and the people who love them. I'm new to these groups and am technologically challenged -- so hope I can figure this forum out!

I have schizotypal personality disorder, which is really similar to schizoid I think. I'm just a little more weird, apparently.

No worries I am awful at PR of course ;-) Ain't like I am gonna yell "yeah it's my blog, goody goody goody..."<br />
<br />
take care,

Have you got any general life advice for a fellow schizoid? For example, I find it very difficult to initiate any kind of relationship with a woman (I'm 23). This obviously has something to do with the (low) frequency with which I attempt to engage in something, however, even when I am at the point of engagement I'm still oblivious as to how to move the chess piece from one checkered square to the next (mutual participation in the object of potentially starting something).

Any feedback would be appreciated, thanks.

I think ive just realised that the link iis relating to you and your wife and daughter - duh! <br />
Thanks again

I think ive just realised that the link iis relating to you and your wife and daughter - duh! <br />
Thanks again

Thanks for that link - i found quite a lot of intereting stuff on there - i was touched by the post about his wife reading about spd and their ensuing conversations - we have almost identical ones!<br />
I think I am much like his wife too - empathic, thinking and feeling - practically opposite to a schizoid - and I do feel my partners pain and I am happy to be enlightened by all this new information. <br />
It is making it easier to accept. <br />
And on the whole - it's not a bad trade off

Your husband and I seem to be struggling with the same things... I have a seven year old daughter, and I "make the efforts" for her (check http://schizoid-personality.110mb.com/familly/filial-bonds/) , in my own way.<br />
<br />
Yes schizoids often have a tendency to creativity and arts, and it is a good way to connect (actually it is usually how the psychoanalysts are trying to connect during therapy).<br />
<br />
Arf, changing / not changing after being diagnosed... It is a complex question. For me, it was just a label stickled to how I am. Having a name for it did not made me want to change.... I never thought I had to change, I have been introverted for most of my life, if not all, I don't know anything else, that is who I am... But I have been thru enough forums to know that some schizoids want to "get better" (especially the younger ones who crave being recognized by our extroverted society).<br />
And having a kid appeals to my sense of responsibilities, so yes in that regard I try to change a few things, enough to present a descent father figure.

Just wanted to add that actually my son is quite clever - as I have observed him trying to engage his father, he has realised that if he discusses 'magic' with him then he's got more chance of attention. Its true for both of us actually!

They have a pretty good relationship, although it is a struggle for him to give him attention - he makes the effort. I wonder what affect the fact that my son doesnt witness any closeness between his Dad and Mum will have - I mean, isn't that where we learn a lot of our behaviour.<br />
I think it is hard for us as we are fairly isolated family wise, no granparents around - even if they were they are not that interested in any case. I make a concerted effort to take our son out a lot and involve him in stuff with friends and such like, but often I feel like a single mum.<br />
When he isn't working, my partner studies magic - and is actually a competent card magician - I think it has been a way of him coping with his 'shyness' but its all a bit of an act.<br />
Now I am wondering tho, once you know you are 'schizoid' is there evr a glimmer of hope that you might want to address stuff - realise that you are capable of connecting on a deeper level with people - or does the classification just become part of your safety net - im a schizoid and thats that..

Well, I myself am glad to hear there is someone with a kid around. I looked and it seems pretty rare amongst schizoids...<br />
How is it going with your son? 6, he might be a bit young to feel is dad is distant yet... What kind of dad/son relationship do they have?

Hi <br />
I am in a relationship with a schizoid man - for 8 years now and we have a six year old son. It is only very recently that I discovered this term 'schizoid' and shared the findings with my partner - who has also been enlightened by the fact that there is a classification for what he thought was just 'the way he is'.<br />
It is actually a relief - for me at any rate. I have spent so much time wondering whether he had stopped loving me, was having an affair, and all manner of things - that probably come from my own personality disorder traits (i think we all have a selection!)<br />
But he is definitely schizoid - where we go from here I don't know. <br />
Sex is always initiated by me - and although it is satisfying it is infrequent. In a way I think I can live with that - but what i realise is that I crave it more as that is a way of experiencing physical closeness with him.<br />
I realise that my fears of him abandoning me are fairly slim - unless I act needy. So I have come to understand that I must fill my life with other things and accept our relationship as mostly intellectual.<br />
He smokes marijuana, which I don't really have a problem with.<br />
I am rambling a bit, sorry if I dont really make much sense, I just wanted to say that I am out here and am up for sharing.

well, i feel my wife is a schizoid and fits to the description of being schizoid perfectly. i do have a glitch with our marriage. being male i started to be envious of her and her solitary ways... i think i had hurt her too much in a heated argument and now she has"splitted" me to her ego as not to make her feel her vulnerable self again. now our relationship according to her is separating. so she gives me no emotion whatsoever. but we do live still in one roof with 2 kids. i think i acted too needy of her and that's what pushed her to place me in her dropped emotion bunch of people in her life.

i like and agree with you that i should just fill my life with other things and accept our relationship as mostly intellectual.

good luck to us. now my goal is give our kids all the emotional support they would need as my wife probably cannot sustain that for them.. but for a schizoid wife... she is the greatest mom any kid would like to have!

I hope you can deal with him. My wife seems to still be able to after 14yrs together ;-)