No One Knows What's Killing Me On The Inside

I thought that he would be right for me when we had a two-hour chat on the school bus that was cruising its way down to Orlando, but apparently I was wrong. (So original, I know.) I "loved" him and he loved me for the first two and a half weeks of our relationship. We went on one date, and he put his arm around me and kissed my forehead while we watched the Hunger Games. But a few days after that, he made it quite clear that he was still hankering after his seventh-grade crush; when she was in the room, he barely looked at me anymore. And it wasn't just her, it was pretty much every other girl friend that he had. (that's friend that is a girl, not exes). He would often flirt with them and not even acknowledge me, even if I was sitting right across the room from him. It would make me very upset, but I never said anything out of fear that he would think of me as being too clingy. He would ask me what's wrong, and I would want to slap him in the face for not being smart enough to put two-and-two together and know that it was his flirting with every other girl in existence while I was his girlfriend that was eating me. But no, I would just shake my head and tell him that nothing was wrong. After another couple of weeks of this, he broke up with me - which made it worse, because if anybody was going to do the dumping, I felt like it should have been me since I wasn't the one hitting on every other person in the room while ignoring him. He was apologetic and nice about it, but then he avoided me for three weeks - and then flirt with my friends right in front of me, especially my best friend. Now, he obviously is going after her. She doesn't like him back and my friends hate him and call him a ****ing weirdo for having the idea that he could actually date his ex's best friend. I'm glad that they show their support, but my best friend still flirts with him and he flirts with her and the two of them have even more in common than he and I do. They always talk about it while I have to sit and listen to him slowly fall in love with her when I want to punch him in the face and scream at him, "I still like you, you douche bag!" I've come to realize that my best friend and I really do have almost everything in common; he just prefers her because she's prettier and Columbian while I'm just a scrawny and plain-faced American-European mutt and I'm too depressed and easily upset to date. But all I really want from him is just for him to be the boy he used to be, and for him to not be so flirty with my best friend. It's killing me inside...
stitches0908 stitches0908
13-15
Dec 7, 2012