They Can't Understand

I've accepted that life is pain a long time ago. I figured that my family doesn't need any of the pain that I let myself carry. Somehow it feels right that they should live as close to paradise as possible. So every single thing in the world hurts me. I hate it the same way a child hates doing their chores. It's still something that has to be done.
But my family wants to understand. Because of my depression I see things a different way. And I'm very considerate. They can't understand my thinking because it's just that. MY thinking. Even if I put it in simplist terms they still don't get it and try to make up a different ending in their mind. They always get it wrong. So I stopped trying.
I am forever grinning and bearing. You will always see a smile on my face. And laugh lines near my eyes. No one can see my pain. You have to be looking for it and you still won't see it. Just the emotionless mask that constantly shades my eyes in a carmell/milk chocolate brown.
hurts2much hurts2much
18-21, F
Aug 6, 2010