I Am Searching For God
I sat, unable to move or speak as I listened to my friend tell me that God had set demons on him to destroy his life. I was sure he was loosing his mind, after all, this guy had a great deal to do with bringing me to God. He could read Hebrew and Turkish script and spent his adult life to that point as a well respected scientist in Silicon Valley. I told him that he was wrong, but he reminded me that he might know a little more about God than I do, I said nothing. He was crying, telling me how God had forsaken him. He spoke of suicide.
I tried in vein to tell him that things would get better, that I believed that God was still in his life, but my words fell on deft ears. I remember as I walked out his door how inadequate I felt. As I got into my truck his words were swirling in my head. I kept asking myself how can I prove to him that God still loves him. By the time I got to the end of his apartment complex, I picked up my cell phone and called him. I had no idea what I was going to say, but as soon as he picked up the phone I asked him this; out of all people in your life that you have loved can you think of one that really hurt you? He answered yes, then I asked him if he would want that person to suffer for what they had done to him, he answered back with a simple, no. Now you understand God's love for all that he created.
That happened about 15 years ago.
My search for God has taken me down many paths. I guess most would consider me to be spiritual at this point. I don't have a label that I can attach to my relationship to God. But I do know one thing for sure, God loves us all, no matter what our sins. God loves us as we love our children. It's just that simple from where I sit.
I tried in vein to tell him that things would get better, that I believed that God was still in his life, but my words fell on deft ears. I remember as I walked out his door how inadequate I felt. As I got into my truck his words were swirling in my head. I kept asking myself how can I prove to him that God still loves him. By the time I got to the end of his apartment complex, I picked up my cell phone and called him. I had no idea what I was going to say, but as soon as he picked up the phone I asked him this; out of all people in your life that you have loved can you think of one that really hurt you? He answered yes, then I asked him if he would want that person to suffer for what they had done to him, he answered back with a simple, no. Now you understand God's love for all that he created.
That happened about 15 years ago.
My search for God has taken me down many paths. I guess most would consider me to be spiritual at this point. I don't have a label that I can attach to my relationship to God. But I do know one thing for sure, God loves us all, no matter what our sins. God loves us as we love our children. It's just that simple from where I sit.
