Well Here I Am Again...

every morning i wake up.. look my face in the mirror.. put on a smile.. step outside my room.. i go meet my friends.. have a nice time with them.. enjoy... i come back in the evening.. switch on my laptop.. come to this website.. EP is a great website.. i come here and talk to few of my friends about random things.. just in the interest of knowing them.. i message some random strangers.. few care to reply and few dont.. but now few are best friends here.. with few i share a common interest.. sometimes i console few members.. listen to them.. talk to them.. give them a moral support.. say that everything is gonna be alright.. i sincerely try to make them feel good ( or at least make them feel ok ).. that is it.. i keep doing something to keep my mind busy or occupied..
but in the night when every noise fades away.. every source of light goes of... pooh.. you and your thoughts creep in.. the times we shared together.. good and bad times.. your hug.. your smile.. your face gleaming in the evening sunshine.. your voice comforting me saying that its gonna be okay cos you are gonna fix it... i start crying silently in my room..
and slowly a voice within starts talking to me.. "you are trying to make others feel good and all.. you give all the support you can to others on EP.. you pretend to be strong to others and yourself.. but are you really strong!? you are trying to fake it till you make it... fooling yourself that you are over her (pooh) and being strong.. but let me remind you buddy... now i am here talking to you cos you arent over her yet.." and i reply " yeah.. i am aware of it.. please let me be myself.. she was the one who proposed me.. she was the one who abandoned me.. what am i supposed to do ? i cant force her to be with me... and regarding my strength yeah your are right.. i am not that strong but eventually i will get over with and one fine day i will also silence you down.. :) "
i stop crying.. wipe out my tears.. try to get some sleep..

any comments ??
angelslover angelslover
26-30, M
Jul 3, 2013