A Long and Lonely Journey
I thank God that I was born into a family where going to church was 'optional' and not 'mandatory'. My mind wasn't forced closed by all of the strict rules of conduct enforced by the church that would guarantee me an eternal seat in hell if I broke them. Instead, my mind remained opened to question the true nature of God. One thing I've discovered is that God does not want us to 'fear' Him. He only wants us to 'understand' Him.
I attended sunday school as a child, of my own accord, but I never felt comfortable there. I didn't feel that I belonged. As a teenager I was very confused. I couldn't understand why there are so many different denominations within the realm of christianity, all of them teaching from the same Bible, but their messages are entirely different. I gave up trying to understand it and even considered myself to be an atheist at one point. But something within me encouraged me to keep searching. It was as if God Himself had taken me by the hand and said; "Never mind that crap, they know not what they speak. Come child, allow me to show you". And He did! When I wanted to know something or didn't understand something, I asked my questions directly to the source and received my answers directly from the source. Heaven, let your light shine down! A life of spirituality as opposed to a life of religion is not an easy journey. You find yourself in a one on one relationship with God and He will challenge you. But He is always there to guide you. For me the journey is long, and I was never given an opportunity to marry, although I do have two children. God is preparing me for something. I have no idea what, but the challenge is to have faith and place my life into the hands of God. This I have already done.