So I Will Get It Out : )

1. Hurro I am 18.. I act either way older or way younger than my age
2. I hate stereotypes as my personality and tastes change frequently...
3. I may come of as whimsical and perhaps naive but the reality is opposite : )
4. I try to never take life so seriously that I can't laugh at myself. : p or at inappropriate situations in general. XD
5. I really enjoy talking with and getting to know people.
6. although maybe a bit sarcastic.. and poke for fun I'm the last person to be judgmental. : )
7. I live and breathe music
8. I play the cello, as well as a bit of piano and guitar.
9. I sing along to songs in the car, but still working on not sounding terrible..xD (unless I'm trying to sound bad which Is fun X3)
10. I go skiing and have a jolly ole time. : )
11. I love photography and the stories told in places and in peoples faces.
12. I am a bit of an otaku not so much lately tho.
13. I watch how I met your mother all the time > : D
14. I love animals and have a pink siamese cat named Sir Charles le Bacon vii (made that up just now)
15. I tend to make up amusing names for people. I usually don't go by my real first name either.
16. I want to learn the bass guitar
17. I study psychology and may get a job as a therapist or something.
18. I am writing a book (if you can call taking notes that) about understanding and getting out of depression.
19. I am into eastern spirituality, buddhism, dao, martial arts, tai chi, etc.
20. I always enjoy deep conversations! about whatever is real ~ I am a bit of a philosoraptor :3
21. I have been through a lot of ****, but try to keep moving on..
22. I don't really have a direction for my life, I take it one day at a time.
23. I have thought about running away from home and regret that I didn't when I had the chance at 15.
24. My least favorite person in the world is my mother.
25. I lost my friends from school when I had to move a few years ago and tried to get some online ones x.x but I have discovered it can never substitute.
26. I tend to emulate people I am around and have spent most my life being someone I am not.
27. I am empathic, and too often I am sucked into other peoples emotions
28. If I focus I can read people like books and am a bit psychic but that freaks people out so I usually keep it to myself ; )
29. I tend to figure out the problems with situations and people pretty quickly but rarely speak my mind
30. I am a different person entirely when I am tired or just generally don't care what people think
31. I am very nostalgic
32. I regret things I let slip away (basically my whole life) and beat myself over mistakes. Learning to forgive myself has been hard.
33. I like people more for their personality and confidence than looks
34. I won't tell someone I like them tho, because a friendship and a good time is more important to me than being mixed up in
    confusion and unmet expectations, which I think is how most relationships end up : P
35. I rarely finish what I start, I procrastinate everything
36. I'm prone to petty addictions like youtube and staying up late laughing XD
37. I hate public schools, I would burn them all down If I could but I make the best of what I have.
38. I love meaningful and lucid dreams and always dream of flying
39. I remember dreams in times of my life when I have no other memories (supression?) *shrugs*
40. I will talk with someone any time about their lives and be there for those in dark places.
41. I love a good competition ; )
42. I grew up on video games, cheap mexican food, pasta, cream popsicles, cheeky humor and anime.
43. I have what if.. ideas all the time, but never do any of them.
44. These would include being awesome
45. I tend to be nostalgic and miss the good ole' days.
46. I save up money that I never spend. O___o
47. I really need to get a car (next step to getting a life?)
48. I am a romantic at heart but clumsy and tactless on the outside XD
49. I played at the nickel arcade as a kid and remember this one game with fighting dinosaurs. My favorite was the raptor and the triceratops
50. I find inspiration everywhere
51. I want to make a website where people can put together pictures, writings, and random things about themselves as a sort of online collage of places, people and ideas. Kind of like a shoebox of trinkets and photos and journals of life, a place to keep and share memories and stories.
52. I memorize the lyrics to songs ~ and siiiiing them outt ~ from artists like switchfoot, mumford & sons, imogen heap, keane, Jason Mraz etc.
53. I only write about myself when I hit a dead end in my life, and I need to find something to stand on again.
54. I used to wish I just had people to talk to, but now I just really want someone I can trust and really share my heart with. I'm tired of small talk and fake **** :
55. I quote lyrics and videos without context all the time in my sentences, it usually confuses people lol.
56. I hate being seen as a silly person but that is often the image I portray
57. I am carefree and let things go. I usually start each conversation as a new person
58. I try to work things out with people, even if it stresses me out
59. it is really late as I type this.. and I am listening to Paramore:Decode atm
60. I tend to avoid tomorrows
61. I usually waste my days
62. I want to get out of here, in this pit of my life being crushed but I don't know where to go, or have the courage to fight my apathy
63. I wish I could just give you a hug, because I love you, even though i don't know who you are : )
64. I try not to swear.. I usually only say Fck you to technology these days. lol
65. I wish I could escape life
66. I never want to go back to school
67. I can't stand living in a tick-tock (9-5) world  I tend to become a robot without desires or goals or thoughts of my own
68. I have had spiritual experiences of both good and bad that are concrete in my mind
69. I want to be in a band
70. I have thought I would have fun being a celebrity, just a greater expression of who I am
71. music writes itself in my mind, it generates from feeling and becomes passion in me.
72. I can become something, lose myself, my ego, the boundaries of my misery, and just become something, it is fun : )
73. I have recognized people and events as if I have seen and known them before. It's a bit more than Deja vu
74. I have memories of places i've never been to.
75. I love owls and always have.. along with foxes
76. animals have shown up in my environment to give me messages, such as the red tailed hawk.
77. I am now listening to Clear skies : keane   <3
78. My older brother had a baby a few days ago (married? at least they are together *shrugs*) with a chick he met on an MMOrpg who lived a few states away lol
79. I notice people are so different when they have a role, in a team, such as in a game.. like they have responsibility and a job to do.
80. I wish people could find roles like that in real life. Something that gives them purpose and motivation to be better.
81. I eat the weirdest **** that would probably destroy anyone elses stomachs
82. I was abused, brainwashed, abandoned, then controlled as a child (in that order)
83. I never thought or felt for myself, and had my very mind crushed till I was a ghost haunting a human shell.
84. I am still struggling to get back my own self and reason to live.
85. I like poetry, and sometimes write it.. when there is no other way to get out something burning in me.
86. I never eat fast food. I used to always be sick, but I stopped eating trash and I'm doing better.
87. I remember starving for 5 days one time as a child, but I didn't really care at the time
88. I miss my brother who died in a fire a few years ago, even though I avoided him when he was alive I didn't understand what he was going through
89. I miss the life I had, that I didn't understand at all
     
90. I think a lot about how I could have done things differently
     
91. I am goin to sleep now xD
92.  

 


anyways if you read this all I am surprised  : O
so leave a comment : )