Too Many Things To Count!

Where to start?

What do you do when you can't figure out what is going on in your head and it's driving you insane?
Yes i know, i'm depressed.
The question is why?

My life has been a rollercoaster, just like i'm sure everyone elses is too some more so..

I'm 18 years old and supposed to have the whole world at my feet right, why doesn't it feel like that?

I had a great childhood, i grew up with an amazing family that have been there for me always.. I was a happy, bubbly child. What changed?

Everything was good. Then i lost 2 of the most important people in my life.
They were the people i could go to with absolutely everything.
My world was rocked, how was i supposed to pick myself up and continue living? I didnt know, i still dont fully.
I just had to do what i thought they would've wanted of me.

It has now been well over 4 years nearly 5 and im still in this place where i cant get over it, can't deal with it and cant move on.
I dont think ive ever dealt with it properly but then again i dont know how.
How are you supposed to just get over it and mover on?
How are you supposed to not forget?
How can you just accept it?

Every thing went on like always, but i didnt. I was stuck and i didnt know how to move or get out.

Then everything just got worse again.
But thats another part.
XxECMCxX XxECMCxX
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 8, 2012

Two things are at play here. You've lost your trusted confidants. That having happened you're likely reluctant to be trusting and close with someone new out of fear of losing them too.<br />
Second, those feelings of loss, reassess them and see them as affirmation of your love and trust and how fortunate you were to have those close to you for as long as you did.<br />
I wish you well, and please don't let depression consume you....