This is seriously killing me. I love him so much. We talk every day. I have always thought he was the most handsome man ever. He asked me for pictures the other day and I sent them like an idiot but I would do anything to make him happy. I have a baby with my husband and I don't want to hurt anyone but I want this person so badly it physically hurts. I've never felt like this before. He is on my mind 24/7, in my dreams. Hearing his voice or talking to him is the best part of my day. Him and my husband are still friends but I know he would never betray me and tell my husband we have been talking. I don't know what's gonna happen when he gets home..he is deployed right now which I think is making everything worse for me. Please someone give me some direction here. I don't know what to do. I don't even want to have sex with my husband because it feels wrong. I just don't get it. I don't even know if he feels the same way. My heart is constantly aching.
voicelessallure voicelessallure
26-30, F
5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

I know how this feels. I am going through this right now. I am so confused.

I'm in the same situation as yours. He is not married but dating a girl from far away. It is not going to well between them. He is friend with my husband for 4 years but we move in the same city as him a year ago. It didn't happen suddenly it was a slow process....It intensify after my husband and I started to have couple problem, sexless marriage, continuous fights, my Husband is a selfish person and not much of a family man, he doesn't look after himself and we don't have too much in common. Since we moved in this new place, things just got worse....
I guess it opened the door to fill those needs that I am deprived for a long time. So everything with the best friend started to happen when I told my husband to invite him for supper a friday night around a month ago. There was another friend as well. We drank a lot of wine so I was feeling good and him too. We were sitting beside each other and our legs were touching all night. My husband didn't see a thing. Then during the evening he said to my husband and I " you guys have some couple issues that you should fix". I told him how do you know? He said I just do. My H was too drunk I think to realize what his friend was trying to say. When he left I walked him to the door and I said can we talk about this he said sure drop by tomorrow.
I went to his place nothing happened just talk, I told him we started counseling and he told me he advise it to my H. He told me that he is so attracted by me and my personality but because of his ethic, he will never betray my H. He said from the first time he met me. Wow! Since that time we speak almost everyday, friday too weeks ago, I went out with my H and he was there my H left early and I stayed and we flirt more, touching each other. Then last friday, I went out for a drink with a friend of mine and he was there in the same place as us!!!!coincidence completely! After a while I told my friend I'm going home but was only to go somewhere else with him and we did go to a crowdy place and he started to touch me everywhere it feels good. I was ready to go all the way with him but he said he can't because of his friendship with my husband. I ended up home around 2 o'clock. The night just went so fast
I understand you when you say your heart is aching, mine too, i think about him all the time but living with my husband is hard. I wanted to fix my marriage before and I tried so hard but now I'm tired and I don't even want to try anymore. I was craving my husband attention but I don't want it anymore.
Today I told my Husband' friend that I won't pursue this flirting because it just torturing me my body hurts and the more I see him or talk to him, the more I believe I will really fall in love with him. He is intelligent, fun and attractive. Same age as my H but looks 10 years younger. ;(

I can relate

Please be careful. Xoxo I had the exact same situation. Only I let it continue, first harmless flirting, then the texts and phone calls, then it turned into a full blown affair. I fell in love. So did he. But we're both married (he's my husband's best friend).
He made me smile when the world was crumbling around me, he made me feel beautiful and confident. He gave me the courage to be myself and not hide away. He was my best friend. I loved him deeply (and still do)
After a few months, with us both trying to stop what we were doing to no avail, his wife found out
It got messy, but he protected me and swore we were only friends.
It's been 5 months since I was last intimately with him
and his wife has a strict no contact rule where I'm concerned or he'll lose everything
Until yesterday it had been two months since I'd seen him or spoken to him. But he's been to my house to see my husband 4 times in two days. And it's killing me. I've spent the evening hiding crying pretending to do housework. My heart is aching. There hasn't been a moment where I haven't thought of him
Please be careful. Only hurt can come of this.

I am intimately and emotionaly evolved with my husbands best friend. I love him so much that it hurts. I feel like I am drowning.

I am married. But, have been having an affair for 13 years. Loner than most marriages. I regret not divorcing my H for my lover. But, we are both stuck in bad marriages for several reasons, mostly kids. I hope we find a way out soon. So, make up your mind to go in a direction and do it

Follow you heart not your loins. You married your husband for a reason. Think about that and be honest with him. Lust is like pain. It servers a purpose but it's not always beneficial.