Dealing With My Own Shortcomings For A Better Tomorrow

"I believe every person comes into your life when they do for a reason," he said to me when we first started our journey.  

 

If there's one thing that has happened to me since I was entrusted with the news of his disorder, it's that I have become inspired, empowered even, to look my own shortcomings dead in the eye and say, "We're going to deal with this now.  Like it or not."

My other comes from a hard family history.  And his childhood affected him profoundly.  In ways that literally changed the physical makeup of the tissue of his brain and causes this disorder that he copes with each and every day.  I don't say "suffer" because I don't believe he is suffering from a disorder.  He is not passively suffering, his disorder is not an aggressive bully that rends the man powerless.  Quite the contrary.  The time and effort that he has put into his understanding of himself and his past and his feelings and this syndrome that is present in his life have created an active relationship between the man and the challenges that he faces.  

He actively participates in the struggles, when they occur.  He is aware of what is happening and though his mind is raging inside of him, he maintains clarity to the best of his ability.  Clarity enough to warn those he loves that he's in a place of negativity on most occasions.  His willpower, the strength he exhibits, the self-inspection, the cues he gives himself and others... watching him refuse to submit is both humbling and inspiring.

It has inspired me to take a good hard look at myself.  To really dig into what it is that I'm doing that I could, perhaps, deal with in a better way.  To peel back the layers of my actions and cleanse the ones that need it, ridding myself of others that need not exist.

I want to thank the man who, without realizing, without trying, has made such a tremendous impact on my life.  The man who, through his example, has made me want to be more.  To be a better person.  To understand better who I am and where I come from.  To know that the hardships I face and the mountains I climb and the obstacles that attempt to fall me are neither impassible nor immovable.  That with inner strength, which I surely possess, and with perseverance, and willpower and determination, nothing can or should ever stand in my way.

But I do have to see the obstacle for what it is... and perhaps, as is his example, I have to work with my enemy sometimes to achieve the great things I am capable of.

Thank you, my love.  Because of your example, I am making strides for myself.  I am forever grateful.

jackson7263 jackson7263
26-30, F
Mar 10, 2010