Inner Rage

Now I am not an angry person normally, sometimes I get worked up and may sound angry but I am more excitable than anything. But sometimes when people get me to the edge or push me so far, and it is a long steep cliff to get me there, I just have this intense inner rage that is like a blast furnace of hate.

I remember this one time I was just getting to sleep when my thoughts went back to watching something on TV about a child getting attacked by a dog. I thought to myself, what would you do if that was you child? All I could imagine was me take the dogs jaws and ripping them apart until I tore them from the skull.

When I saw this in my mind It was like a door inside of me with cains on it was thrown opened and out flooded the purest most concentrated form of hate and evil I have ever felt. I just wanted to tear that dog into peaces in the most brutal ways not just stop it from harming the child. The feeling was so scary that it brought me back from near sleep and made myself say WOW! that was ****** up!

Anyone else ever feel that kind of inner rage?

TheCheese TheCheese
31-35, M
5 Responses Jun 25, 2007

Yep I have felt that rage too many times to count, I know I have an anger problem but honestly most of the time I am usually peaceful. It's just once I get so angry to a certain point that I start "seeing red" as they call it. I can't think clearly and I just want to break stuff around me, it's also really hard for me to calm down.

Sometimes when I hear of people commiting heinous crimes, I can think of terrible things that should be done to them; especially if they harm or hurt children. However, I know deep down I could not hurt another human being unless I was driven to that edge by someone trying to hurt a child or my child.<br />
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“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”<br />
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True transformation occurs only when we can look at ourselves squarely and face our attachments and inner demons, free from the buzz of commercial distraction and false social realities. We have to retreat into our own cocoons and come face-to-face with who we are. We have to turn toward our own inner darkness. For only by abandoning its attachments and facing the darkness does the caterpillar's body begin to spread out and its light, beautiful wings begin to form.

yes, I've felt a sort of rage before when all I wanted to do was hurt things. But letting that rage take over is something that we will never be able to forgive ourselves for. We cannot call ourselves human, until we come face to face with that sheer hatred and learn to defeat it. If you let it take over, the consequences and afterthoughts will tear you apart, take it from me.

I know what you mean, I have had wrongs done by me that I dwelt on for years afterwards, every time I considered these things I wanted nothing more then to get my own back...These days I don't feel that same rage, more happy to shy away from extreme emotions. The only rage I feel is against my religious boarding school, but even then it is mild.

Some of our Veterans have that inner rage against what is happening to our country these days. <br />
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Where a child is concerned that motherly instinct comes to the fore when a child is hurt.