I'm struggling more with this inner, buzzing anxiety that's always in me. It's not the anxiety that doesn't let me sleep, it's more like a quiet companion that walks with me wherever I go. Unsettlement and uncertainty are major culprits. That's why I'm reading literature to help me find or at least move closer to my inner Self, which will consequently bring me inner peace. Once you know who you are (quite vague statement, but real), you'll step into a different realm of awareness. I don't know how it feels, but I will find out. I really need to get rid of this buzzing feeling inside, I want to participate in life being absolutely calm, but aware.


Updates on my input:

I've been working with my mind lately, praying to Higher Power to release me, give me peace of mind, joy, happiness & so forth. It's working. I feel I'm letting go of this permanent shiver inside that used to be such a big part of me for the past year. I'm exercising positive thinking even at times of the most difficulty & doom. I'm forcing myself to stay positive & try to leave my worries to Higher Power to deal with. It's letting go, little by little!

misasja misasja
26-30, F
12 Responses Jul 1, 2007

Hope you find results, soon, misasja

Thank you guys for your advice. I'll follow some points that PH gave me, some of which I've already been doing for a long time. Cont...

Well put on your gypsy skirt girl

misaja, that inner buzzing inside is a good thing. It is a gentle nudge from spirit. It makes us turn our thoughts inward and see if we are "being" who we really are and who we want to be. That's what kicks us into searching for more.<br />
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PH good advice. I always love dancing when no one is around. I have some music that has percussion instruments. I went out and bought bongos, tambourine, shakers, put on my gypsy skirt and danced around the house. So much fun and good for the spirit.

"Banish the buzz!!" might make a nice t-shirt logo

I am also searching for this inner contentment and self discovery as well. Good luck on your journey.

Wise teachers from Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism often point a student toward the peaceful presence of awareness itself, as the fundamental self. Awareness is no thing, its like water, or space more so, and yet this is our spiritual self, or non self. So they say...<br />
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Becoming calm with one's awareness, peace becomes your natural state...<br />
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Not easy to do!!

misasja...with you on all that. I am trying to do similar things...trying to seperate my thoughts from my awareness, being aware of what it is like to have "no thought".

Bella, it's great that it all worked for you. Although the meds are only temporary, becoming a Christian is not, so it might help you along the way for a while.<br />
As to me, meds are out of the question unless there's absolutely no way NOT to take them, which won't happen. I ain't poisoning my body with garbage like that unless I really have to.<br />
Christianity... hmm... I'm past that stage. Dogma isn't enough for me.<br />
If you have a hectic schedule, then don't even hope on becoming calmer. I'm trying to do things slower, breathe better and always stay cognizant and aware of the "now", like, noticing when I'm anxious and consciously slowing down, telling myself "I'm calm, I feel comfortable, life is just a game..."

I feel the same way. I'm not done yet, but I am moving in the right direction...things I did? First, I went on a really mild, low-dose anti-anxiety medication (Paxil, 10mg) and that took away the physical part of the anxiety (inability to control my thoughts as well as I liked). Then, I became a Christian...those two things took the physical part and the after-death part, but there is still a daily unrest that follows all my decisions. Still working on that...

I can relate, though I've been working on it for a while. I've been studying philosophy and psychology for a while- though the more I do it the more it seems they are one in the same- and turning the spotlight from the outside to the inner me is not always very pretty. Sometimes it's really hard to bring forth those things we hide.

I think I know how you feel. I spent my teens and twenties wrestling with suicidal thoughts. Not so much that I was sad, but the anxiety of life wouldn't leave me alone long enough to live. I'm a Christian now. And that has worked for me. I do believe. But I read a LOT of eastern philosphy because, for me, there seems to be more concrete practical solutions. Their stories speak to me. And, (again) for me, it all leads back to Christ anyway.