Constant War

It feels as though i am at constant war within my own mind.  Handling the things around me and the things i do seems easy enough . However handling my own thoughts of myself is something which i fail short on many times.. have suffered anxiety for about 20 years now and find that i over think and overstress about decisions in my life constantly.  To this day i cant explain why i react like this to things especially when there is nothing wrong..  All i want is some inner peace and to be able to relax more ..   Sometimes i think it would be nice to have a simple mind.  SIMPLE MIND equals SIMPLE LIFE equals HAPPY .   

marcoise marcoise
31-35, M
5 Responses Feb 16, 2010

correct me if im wrong..but do you mean you like times of deep thought and other times you like a quiet and relaxed mind ? i guess that is what i want .. i wrote this months ago alot better now and seem to have found some peace :) i ended up just doing more and questioning why fight it .. i think so much during the day now that by night im mentally worn out :)

I hvae often thought I wish I would be just simple person without this constant thinking and deep digging. They all seem having easy peasy happy lifes BUT how many wonderful details, human relations, thoughts, books, people, ideas they never get to know....Would you want to miss that too? I am contradicting myself when I am wishing to be simple. I think I would just like to find ability to quieten mind to be able find inner peace...

I understand what you are saying.. Unfortunately it isn't as easy as reading a book or practicing being simple... Meditation helps sometimes.. i do have a couple of past issues.. but they are not related to this for i had anxiety before them .. Unless i take copious amounts of mind suppressing drugs i dont see how life can get any more simple for me.. I think prob 2 or 3 times faster than i should and sometimes cant even talk because im 10 to 20 words in front of what im saying... Never did an oral presentation in high school or read in class for this reason.. id freeze because my mind and mouth are out of sink... People thought it was stage fright.. but was never scared so it couldnt have been .. <br />
I dont have any learning disabilities either.. Although my mind races i dont have any attention disorders ,which means i just learn faster . <br />
Guess i will learn one day what is going on in that auto-barn i call my head,..

dont worry. i often get the cold hands ;)

i find myself complicating things as well. usually i have to drill down to the issue and figure out a solution. if its a past experience learn and move on. to each is one owns life and we have the choice to what it is and can blame no one else. practice simpleness and it will be yours. <br />
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books to help- the art of happiness , choice theory<br />
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best wishes