Married And Sexless

I am an average middle aged man, married 22 years, and plan to keep it that way. One thing that I would like to improve upon would be my sex life. Currently the only sex I have is with myself. I have become somewhat creative but it's not the quite the satisfaction I am looking for. I need someone to share with and enjoy sex. Within the last couple years I have seemed to develop a lust for men. I started getting aroused when shopping online for mens swimwear. Eventually I found several sites with some very sexy stuff and seeing these body hugging suits really started to arouse me. Underwear sites as well. I even ordered from several in an effort to have some fun and maybe get some notice from my wife. It really doesn't work like that. As I have found the only one getting turned on was me. Then it dawned on me to explore the possibility of an out-of-marriage adventure. The more I thought about it the more it consumed me. Thoughts of getting older and not having sex the rest of my life just because my better half chooses that for me were really gnawing at me. How can a spouse dictate my life like that? Well, its time for me to take control of my own destiny. I want to feel alive again. Upon joining EP I looked at this as an opportunity to reach out and to my surprise I have found several men in similar circumstances and have made many friends. It just amazing how many men are coping in sexless marriages, starving for sexual gratification, just like me. I'm trying to not only feed my needs but assist other men as well by feeding theirs. It's exciting to communicate through EP with many men and share Yes, share, thats what I believe its all about...SHARING. And I want to share some time with other men, help eachother out, and keep the peace at home.
deleted deleted
26-30
5 Responses Jan 12, 2013

It really amazes me that so many of us men are in marriages that the sex has vanished. I too as well live in a relatively sexless marriage.. the last time was approx. 5 months ago. and we only had sex one other time that year. So i suppose its natural to look outside our marriages to find what were missing. I have always enjoyed looking at a nice hard ****.. I never persued it as much as I have recently. Would absolutely love to find someone that was in the same boat and needed a play partner as well. I thank all that have posted and shared their thoughts and experiences. It shows me that I/we are not alone in this.

Sorry for chiming late, but SDM you summed it up for me...married for 20 years having occasional sex with no passion. But seeing an erect **** and knowing how I would like to be pleasured really gives me the urge to venture out and experience the joy of pleasuring another man. If it happened through EP that would be great as there seem to be plenty of men that feel the same way.

Hey Toby, finding that ideal scenario, I think is, damn near impossible. Considering you're trying to find a guy that attracts you, where you have some chemistry, enjoy doing similar type of play, is fairly close by and can get away from wifey at the same time. I've taken the plunge a couple of times now and met some nice guys...but there are a lot of variables that come into play that affect the gratification quotient. Not to mention the cheating aspect.
But each person has to be their own judge. I'm certainly not going to give anyone advice on this subject.

Good luck to you in finding that steady, occasional partner. There's a definite incentive by both to keep it safe and discreet. Don't know if filling that void in your sexual needs will help long term but it sure can be satisfying. ..like eating a Snickers bar.

I was fortunate enough to never have THIS particular problem in my marriage. Through the 28-1/2 years we were married (prior to our separation and divorce), we had reasonably good sex with some regularity. But I would like to share my opinion on the subject of the unwilling wife. There is a line in the standard wedding vows, that you promise to "have and to hold"... while it is phrased somewhat euphemistically, it seems clear to me that this particular line is referring to physical intimacy. When your wife married you (assuming you had this line or a similar one in your vows), she promised to have continued physical intimacy with you, "as long as you both shall live." SHE is violating the marriage contract by denying you this intimacy. If you haven't already, I suggest that you get into marriage counseling to address this issue, because this is NOT a minor issue. It is an issue which, if left unresolved, may drive you to be unfaithful. And if she is NOT able to satisfy your needs, then I feel that you are justifed in seeking to have those needs met elsewhere, whether from other women, or even from men. For me personally, the drive to have sexual interaction with other men was a strong one, and I ultimately acted out on that. And that was what led to the end of our marriage, but only because I have a fundamentally honest nature, and I could not live the lie of keeping my bisexual dabblings a secret from her. I eventually (after 5 months) was driven to confess my transgressions to her. But if you can lead that dual life without more serious repercussions, I suggest you do so.
Best of luck to you! Send me a PM if you like..

Thanks so much for posting this it made me feel a lot better about my situation. Thanks again

i feel alive in my panties yours are hot

My friend, you sound like a very intelligent, and lonely guy!!!! Unfortunately, there are many of us out there in the same situation as you, and it is wonderful that you and I and many others have found EP, so we can relate to other guys, and hopefully you are finding guys in your city with whom you can become acquainted and become friends!!! Good luck to you, you deserve the best !!!! :)

You are most welcome Toby!!! With a special guy like ""you"", it is very easy to "stay the course", and remain loyal and "special friends""!!!! I so wish you the very best of "everything'", always!!!! :)