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Stupid...

I am really self conscious about myself. People always wonder why because I used to be a model. Well, there are multiple reasons:

1. boobs
Ok I am a 34 C so not to small, not to big. Not bad right? Well I recently discovered this amazing bra called the WONDER BRA!! It boosted you up two whole cup sizes and my boyfriend is a boob man. So, buy it right? I put it on and felt amazing! Guys would look at me and my boyfriend loved strutting me around. Well, that phase quickly ended. He still loves it, but I don't. I feel like I am putting on a false look...well...I am. Also, when I undress, I feel so much smaller. I feel like my boyfriend will get used to the busty clothed me and see my nude self as...well..unsatisfactory. He constantly tells me this is not true. He said I am the "perfect size" and if I was actually that busty it wouldn't look pretty when naked. Despite how much he says this, I still feel worried...

2. Clothes
I have never been one to dress up all the time. I prefer comfy clothes I can move in. When at home I am ALWAYS in pajamas. When out I am in jeans and a shirt unless it is date night. My boyfriend recently told me he didn't think I got dressed up for him enough when we first started dating. This bothered me because I don't dress up unless for a special event. I don't do the designer clothes, I don't carry purses (and if I do they are cross body bags), I am tall so I don't wear heels...I don't know....It has always bothered me.

3. Personality
I am not shy but...then again I am. If I am meeting important people I am shy, but everyone else I am a bundle of joy. I worry all day if someone meets me because I want to make a good impression. They say the first meeting will always be remembered. I don't have a lot of friends...well...I don't have any friends. It sucks because I don't know why. It leaves me depressed a lot....

Do I sound stupid?
rain2sunshine rain2sunshine 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2012

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No u sound fair-weathered. And damn near perfect.

thank you! I get really paranoid I know....I try to be it all and sometimes it just backfires :/

Backfires are evidently a not so good thing. I know how it feels to have a blow back from would be or.should be friends. Par for the course, I just play through..

Well carry on! You seem strong :)