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Obsession

it was strange because as a child even throughout primary school i was an extreamly confidant kid! i wouldn't worry about how i looked, EVER! and i would happily stand infrount of the whole school reading or preforming or whatever but things changed later on.

i dont know what it was because i was never bullied infact i was quite popular but i lost all self confidance. i soon became obsessed with how i looked and what others thought abotu me! i would straighten my hair 3-4 times a day untill my long soft hair became brittle straw, i spent most of my lunch time and breaks at school in and out of the toilets to re-apply make up before anyone could see me.

i even wouldnt answer the door as it was unexpected and i wouldnt have time to make myself what i would consider to be presentable.

it also became an issue with relationships. i couldnt have any because i was too worried and wrapped up in what they thought of me, i could never accept a compliment never mind take things furthur physically because i was anxious about any slight judgement that might be made about me.

my make up was a mask and i kept people at a distance so they wouldnt know me well enough to make these judgements.

It completely took over my life and i soon became a self fulfilling prophesy.

cutesigirl cutesigirl 18-21 Aug 22, 2008

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