Sometimes I'm Ok....

There are days when I wake up and feel ok with what looks back at me in the mirror. There are good pictures of me that portray a nice looking 29 year old. That being said......the other 75-90% of the time I am left wanting to change this or cover that.

I have become the expert I believe in camouflaging my curves.....oh how I like that word much more that others out there. Yes my curves!!!!  I wear things that I am comfortable in and yet still show me as a woman with perhaps something attractive to the right watchful eye.

It isn't that I don't like me because I really do. I like my mind, my confidence, although quite an oxymoron come to think if I am self conscious. It is all in my head I suppose but  none the less there. I believe it will always be there stalking me but I fight its pursuance of me and hope that I can come to a place that wont always feel the need to duck and cover the curves given to me:-)


MegJgeM MegJgeM
36-40, F
4 Responses Oct 26, 2008

From what I can see you are beautiful, and please do not camouflage your curves, more men than you think secretly love curvy women, i don't secretly like them, I openly love curvy women. i'm married to one and oh i'm loving it. So don't be self conscious about your curves, and you said you were smart and have lots of confidence, that would make a very very beautiful woman inside and out....

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement !! How awesome to have your thoughts grace my story,<br />
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I appreciate it

MJ,<br />
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First of all, you are attractive. You say you like yourself. Is it fear that's holding you back? Fear of what people will say, to you and NOT to you? What will actually happen?<br />
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Whatever it is that you want, go for it. Try. Succeed. Fail. JUST KEEP GOING. What is the worst that will happen? The answer is (1) You'll get what you want, (2) You'll get what you want LATER (when you try again), or (3) You'll find something else that has meaning to you, and you'll move on.<br />
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This may be an apples-and-oranges comparison, but I used to HATE to get up in front of people to talk. I'm a writer, and a poet, and I love when people like or connect with my work (or help me find ways to make it better.) SO I did something that terrified me: I started doing poetry readings.<br />
<br />
Miraculously, the earth did not fall. Channel 2 News did not put me as top story, and I didn't make the National Enquirer. I put my energy and passion into reading my poems the way I want them to be heard, and while not everyone may love them...someone always not only likes them, they connect with them. A good reading makes my whole week!<br />
<br />
I promise the earth will not fall on you, and if it does (figuratively) there's a reason. You'll get something out of ANYTHING you try!<br />
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By the way, I'm glad your curves don't hold you back. I'm a size 24-26W, I'm 50, and I may love life more than ever. Just think what will happen if YOU put your best energy in front of the world!

I can relate to your story, I think it is pretty normal to feel this way but I cant be for<br />
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I feel safe nonetheless. :)