Despair

Despair

My hatred breeds stronger. A claim about wanting to be friends. Why? I already was your friend, your soul mate. most people confuse sou mate with lover. Maybe I did, you never did. In the end, you did, and I didn't. I imagined I was a good friend. I made the mistake of confessing to you about my hatred. How it would rise up. How you could bear birth to it. You used that against me. Something I choose to trust you with. You make me feel guilty about me. Then you flaunt it in my face. Now the guilt has subsided. My fears are realized, I feel anger. The anger turns to hatred. Eventually it will devour me and with it our friendship, one soul feeding on it's mate. I caution you friend, notice it, take heed, a black all communing rage will drown you, and I wont care. I was never indifferent about your feelings, you always were about mine.

My eyes were so much more in you, of you, about you. You said they were full of lies, but when you looked into them, you new they were honorable, honest, and true. Now, you must get a handle on something I never thought you would see or I would peer through. Hatred and contempt in my eyes for you. Faithless belief and malice in my thoughts of you. Deceit and deception in my words for you. My hatred will know no bounds. It knows no limits. It constantly will cultivate and foster me into a kindred spirit . . . will you let it consume me??

I told you of times where this is who I am. I never was able to fully let you know about me. I let you know about who I am supposed to be. You have no reverence about who I am, but you should. I don't mind, for this life, it's the only way I can survive. I am reminded of how I can inflict pain, be destructive, be what all others are. Let them suffer, it allows me to sit back and be curious. It makes me indifferent.

Your oath was simple, be my friend, keep me close to you by doing right by me. Be conscientious of me. Be deserving of me. Yearn to hear me, yearn to let me gaze upon your soul with my honorable, honest, and true eyes; but alas, you condemn me.

My dungeon is full of solitude, you wont try to save me. You will leave me to rot. I will purify myself, and you will be in need of purification. If I cant inflict pain on you physically. It will be emotionally.

Stay away from me, run away from me. You don't want this. You don't need this. It was too easy for you to discard.

I am no friend of yours. You never thought me as a soul mate. You think me as a stranger.
worknplayhard13 worknplayhard13
36-40, M
Sep 18, 2012