Through and Through

I am told this, even when I don't see it in myself.  I was told by someone close to me the other day that they know that I am feeling unfulfilled in my career at present and I asked how, and they responded that it was due to my self destructive behaviour- that once my job looses that sparkle of newness, I become self destructive. 

I have used eating disorders and a lot of immoral behaviour in my past also to contribute to this - promiscuity, anger, shutting myself off, alcohol, compulsive shopping for things I never wanted, starvation and overdosing.  A lot of this I have cut back on but seem to have replaced with this internal self destruction- this need to destroy my inner mental state.  What I have I should be thankful for, not destroying myself over.

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2 Responses Jul 31, 2008

I'm just like that, and I know what you mean, it can make you feel really ungrateful for what you do have but it's just so hard to stop.<br />
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Self destruction gets the best of us. I know its an ongoing battle for me.