I hadn't thought I was self destructive for a long time. But thinking about it I most certainly am. I've destroyed every good thing I had going for me. I've almost ruined my life because of it.
But I hope that now I've realized that I do this I'll recognize when I'm doing it and stop myself.
I think being self destructive is one of the traits of being a wombtwin survivor actually. Hmm. I can't remember but I'm pretty sure it is.