Selfishness Rules Me

This realization has been a long time coming. I've been married for over two years and my wife and I argue regularly because of the actions I do or don't take. For some reason I ensure that no matter what happens, I have time to relax or do something I want. I take care of my needs and wants before anyone else. Often I will do chores or tasks, but only because I want praise or wish to make my wife happy in order for me to be happy.

I have a deep pain inside whenever she asks me to be more empathetic, to relate to her issues more verbally instead of the way I want to. The problem is that I cannot relate to other people, I fail to understand why they think one way, and not my way...since I feel my way is more logical.
I even find it difficult to say the words, "I understand." It seems insulting to me that I need to explain the steps my brain takes...because it takes up my precious time....very selfish.

Often I wish to be left alone, I don't talk to my friends regularly unless I have something to brag about or I need something from them.

I want to change. I want to be able to love her in her way, not my way. I understand that the two aren't the same thing. My brain knows that she doesn't respond to the same mental stimulus as I do, but I continue to bulldoze my way around the relationship.

I need help.
kcv7129 kcv7129
Sep 14, 2012