In A Relationship... Help?

I have never been too good at relationships as I freak out easily and don't let people get too close. Right now I am in a new-ish relationship. The guy is very nice and I don't want to hurt him... BUT I am going through quite a hard time now, as some other things in my life are really not going too well. It just feels like being with this guy means I have yet another set of obligations that, quite honestly, I could do without. I don't have much time, and don't feel I can give of myself - and don't particularly want to. I know this sounds bad... and maybe a bit weird too. If don't want to spend my time on someone else, maybe I am just too selfish to be in any relationship?

Ok - not sure if this is too coherent... I'm tired right now! If anyone can identify, or has any advice, I would be so grateful to hear from you :)
Damisela Damisela
26-30, F
1 Response Sep 21, 2012

Heres my advice, if your with the guy because you like him but dont want to hurt him cuz your already in the relationship, then maybe rethink it because your only hurting him more and yourself if your just prolonging the inevitable. If you like this guy and want him in your life, and you just feel like the timing is off, then maybe you should try dealing with your issues at hand and maybe open up to him just a little to let him know that your dealing with some stuff and if hes the nice guy you say, he will understand and try to HELP you get through it. From my experience, honesty and communication is one of the biggest keys to a relationship. If you cant be honest and communicate then maybe your just not ready to be in a relationship at all. Just take a second to think about what you want and need and if hes not apart of it then you have your answer. Thats just my take. I dont know you or anything but thats the advice id give to any of my friends. Hope everything works out and Good luck!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. This is really good advice and I am going to really think about what you said. Thanks again :)

No problem!!! Good luck!