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Separated An Extremely Lonely

I have been married for 14 years and have 2 kids.  Me and my husband decided it was no longer working, we had basically turned into friends with benefits.  We got together when he was 19 and I was pregnant shortly after and decided to get married.  Happened very fast.  We are still friends, probably more so then while we were together.  We have been separated for about 5 months now and he has not lived here. See him everyday still cause we work together.  I dont want him back as my husband, but cant figure out why I cant stop getting mad at him when he doesnt call me as fast as I would like him too, I get mad at him if he doesnt pay full attention to me, why do I do this when I dont want him back???? I need help with this or I will never get on with my own life, I barely even go out, dont care to date, most of the time I am just pissed off!!!!

jlm1128 jlm1128 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2009

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absence makes the heart grow fonder...it's easy to block out the things that we dislike about a person when they are not around, we tend to remember the good qualities that we are then missing. It's a natural phenomenon and if you are still friends, you will come to understand this. Its takes time to change a living situation, a relationship, being with a partner....give it time~

Perhaps, you are still in love with him. You still have some feeling for him. Or the reason you did the separation with him because he didn't pay enough of attention to you. If he had, would you still want to finished with him? If you still have feeling for him, go to talk to him and fix the problem. Better than have any regret in future.

That's it. He never accepted and acknowledged you, which is what created the distance between the two of you. You need acceptance and acknowledgment, but he is not the only source. And it can come from you. You need to accept and acknowledge yourself for the courage you have shown to carry on without him and to chalk out your own path.

Interesting... Wondering if one of the reasons that you separated was because he didn't pay enough attention to you. Ask yourself , can you get angry with ANYONE for not paying enough attention to you ?. He is now setting up his own boundaries which he is entitled to

Let go... Life's too short to be angry all the time, and guess what, it'll rub off on the kids.