Alone, Confused And Orphaned

I have been in a loveless marriage for some time. My 'wife' came home after work, on my birthday, to inform me that we were gonna seperate. I was surprised but not...

We talked more to each other then we had ever before in quite some time. The other day I went to call her mother (because she is watching our pets) and I accidentally deleted her contact from my phone. I went up stairs and noticed that my 'wife' had left her cell phone at home. I picked up her phone and looked for her mothers number, and couldn't find it then remembered...

When you list numbers on your phone you are to put ICE in front of certain contacts, so if you are ever in an accident and are unconcious they know who to contact. There is where I found her mothers number and a contact of some guy I had never heard of, obviously someone very important to her if he is her In Case of Emergency contact with her mother.

I asked her about it, I was not cross or rude, she said he was a friend, I questioned because she had never mentioned him before, she flew off the handle packed her clothes and left.

Am I wrong? I have never heard of this person, for her to say is just a friend seems suspect and when she said it was a friend I excepted that answer. Just wanted clarification.

I don't know what is happening but things are hard right now. I have been in a marriage where my intelligence, gut feelings and personal being have been insulted and told were wrong.  I do not know how to feel and dont know if I can trust my feelings because I was told for the last 8 years that my feelings are wrong.

lomivi lomivi
31-35, M
3 Responses Oct 8, 2009

Sort of shocked that you didn't call the person up or at least take notice of the phone number to call later.<br />
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I am not saying that this is the case for YOU - but if I were to have found such a number on my late husband's phone, I would have called and asked how it is that they knew my husband. I would have already assumed that there was a real possiblity that with that sort of notification placed on the phone, it was at best a close friend, at worse it was someone that they were having an affair with.<br />
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My guess - and that is ALL that it is - she very well is having an affair. The sooner that you grasp that reality and start moving in the direction that best protects yourself from further personal injury and upset.. Again - a SUGGESTION as I don't know for certain, but sure what it looks to be.<br />
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Best of luck to you - and just know that if this is what is indeed happening - the fact that she chould cheat on you and ONLY AFTER she has found someone else to be with before she leaves - tells more about herself and it isn't positive at all.

She's a cold, cheating ****. Send her on way and start living life. There's a good woman out there waiting for you. Good luck

It's obvious you found her lover's number. Of course she packed her bags and left. She certainly did not want to confess or discuss him any further. Do your wife and yourself a favor and start your divorce. Her announcement on your birthday that you were going to separate was just a prelude of things to come. The next announcement would have been she was filing for divorce.