Ounce Of Hope

My husband and I have been together for 12 years. About 2 months ago I saw my husband was looking at houses to buy. We always are "looking" so I thought no big deal. I made some comment about the hosue and my husband said something like I am not sure if we both will live there.....I couldn't believe what he said. From then on we had some serious talks. I didn't know it but my husband claims he has been trying for 2 years to make things better between us by changing different things. I do remember a couple of serious comments from him about he wasn't happy. I heard it and we briefly discussed it and then moved on. I never really brought it up again. He tells me that he has changed the person that he is to be more like me to make things better between us but in the long run he has become very unhappy. I have been staying home with our 2 kids and realized that staying at home isn't for me. Over the last year or more I have become depressed. I am very bored and lonely. I have also sensed the lack of love from my husband. I know he loves me but has fallen out of love with me. So I think not only am I not being fullfilled as a person with my own needs but also missing something with my husband. My husband decided to separate just over a month ago. We did marriage counseling a bit but the big question is if my husband is already "check out" and made up his mind. He says he doesn't want a divorce but also can't live the way we are anymore and has exhausted all options. Our counselor suggested a no talking plan except about kids for a month. If we are interested in giving it a chance than to go to a weekend marriage retreat. We are a weeek and a half into it and we have had a few conversations. I just wonder if not talking is really the route to go. It is very hard for both of us. I just don't know what will happen after the 30 days. What can we do or try to see if we can make it together? I say start out kind of dating all over again and he says he will now in the first 5 minutes that we just don't have the connection there. He says our personalities are just too opposite and we have never had a true spark between us so it isn't there to rekindle. He says my lack of memory is a big problem as well. I want this bad dream to go away and have my entire family back in one house together again!! I am still in awe of what is happening!
2miracles 2miracles
4 Responses Oct 25, 2010

I feel for you my story is so like your my husband has fallen out of love with me too he wants to date others, he now wants a divorce just told me today. im dying inside. He had me move out about a month ago. i want to move back home. I hope things do get better for you . be strong

Take him seriously and stop resisting his needs. You can't force him to live with you. Stop being so afraid - time will tell if he loves you enough to want to live with you, if he doesn't you deserve better.

I hope you get this comment. If your situation is like 90%, your husband has a woman somewhere. Be careful. Mine met 'her' on the internet, hot romance. He lied through his teeth while he was gutting our savings and retirement fund. He moved her here from FL, where she left a husband and son, never has bothered to get a divorce. My rat has continued to support me and help when it's needed and apparently was prepared and happy to go on forever, with a wife and a mistress. Meanwhile they're in a very nice apt, going on vacations and out to dinner all the time, nice places. I finally have saved enough to see a lawyer. He wants to go to one of those places where you both agree and avoid big legal fees; I'll see what he proposes, if I don't like it, I'm on my way to an atty. Good luck to you. I hope I am wrong.

Wow <br />
This group must not be that active<br />
Mine is the first comment?<br />
Jeez the one month plan is over already<br />
Curious how it went and how things are going now<br />
Add me to your circle