Lets see... i have been married for 12 years. my husband and i have had a wonderful marriage all these years we were eachothers best friend, he would even agree. but this past July something started to change. He pulled away from me. He has been in night school and has had extreme stress with school while teaching fulltime. He said it was the extreme stress of school. He was aware of the distance but it was more of "just hold on its school and it will get better". he actually put himself into counseling because he couldnt figure out what it was. he was anger, overwhelmed and started to wonder if because he was pulling away from me if possibly his feelings for me had changed. Come a few months later the distanc grew and the stress began to wear between us. We had never been this emotionally separated from eachother so it was killing us, we didn't know how to deal with it. We decided to get also into couples counseling. at first is was good but then he began to turn more and more anger in life. I changed and became emotionally a pain because I was constantly trying to figure out what was going on with him trying to talk to him but it just would turn into heartache for me and anger for him. You think I would of learned not to discuss it but i guess i was looking for answers. We started to think he was in a depression so he went to a doctor and got on meds. he wouldnt always go to his individual appts. that would start new fights between us. Well the first medication didn't do anything then they tried another. by this point the conversation of separation has come up because of the stress and tension it was causing in the home. We have 2 children and as much as we tried to hide what was going on they knew something was up. The reason we were thinking separation is so that he could get some space to figure out what the heck was going on. Well to get to the point we ended up separating because we just have so much sadness and tension on this conversation beween us of "is it depression or something with our love". It has been 4 weeks since he moved out. he says he wants to focus on him, kids, us in that order understandably. Im lost and sad, i understand i guess but we both know what we had before in our marriage and both cant believe this is where we ended up.
LookingforUs LookingforUs
36-40, F
2 Responses Jan 17, 2011

How are things now? I'm in a similar situation myself here - different circumstances of course but many similarities.

Cheer up...you have good health, right? Move on. Good luck.