I Am Seperated

My husband and I have not been communicating lately and then found out he has been talking on line to a woman he knew in high school on facebook. He says nothing is going on and just needed someone to talk to. His family is a family that never stays married to anyone! He all of a sudden he doesnt love me the way he should and is leaving. I hurt sooo bad and cant help but want him back. I never thought he would be the kind of man that would leave me! We both were married before. I cant believe this heartache! He just yells at me and we are going to counseling but he doesnt think it will work at all cause he feels as though I forced him into marrying him now, and buying a house! That is so not true! He calls me selfish and pushy! He says that because we cant discuss anything anymore and he bottles everything inside. I told him to please stop talking to this girl and he wont and is not doing anything wrong??? He hid talking to her for months from me. Why?? I have children from my previous marriage and he knew when our relationship had gotten serious that I had my tubes tied. Now he says he wishes he could have had a child. He is 7 years younger than me. Im 39 and he is 32. Why is this happening? Why is all the blame coming on me? I dont know how much of his hurtful words I can take from him.

deeglorioso deeglorioso
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 8, 2010

sounds as if he is very immature for a 32 yro, has his bread, buttered with jam, but also wants it coated with sugar ? married when it suits him but single when its play time, unfortunetly love does hurt do you wish to continue with a hurtful relationship only you can say ? if counselling doesent help then maybe you need to examine the whole perspective of this marriage, or continue swimming against the tide. because we are sometimes rejected by others doesent mean its our fault ? but they have to aportion blame at someone they are never at fault ? <br />
(ha) now you must be realistic is the Glass Half Full---or Half Empty ?

I suggest you read the book by Mort Fertel called Marriage Fitness. It is a marriage counseling alternative. He tells you constructive advice on how to reconnect with your spouse. <br />
He also gives free marriage saving tips via email: <br />

This is very normal behavior of someone having an affair. You may not want to admit it, but even though there may be nothing physical going on it is an emotional affair. There is tons of info on the internet about affairs. He may not seem like the cheating type, but like I said his behavior is very typical. You really need to focus on yourself and your children. Stop focusing on him and asking yourself why. You will go insane! All those things you always wanted to do, but didn't because you thought of your family first....sprint now and do them!!!! When you are happy with yourself one of two things will happen he will desire to have what you have and want to get to know the new you or you will realize that you do not want such a negative person in your life. I have had to deal with this many times and it took me way too long to realize that I don't need him! I know it will be hard, but you would not be normal if you didn't feel this way. You must gather whatever energy you have and use it for yourself... to get healthy spiritually, mentally, and physically.

I am so sorry for your hurt. I so wish people could be mature about marriage. Your right he should have thought seriously about many things before he married you. <br />
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I wish I could tell you more but I know from my own separation last year that its going to take time to mend your broken heart. ((((hugs))))