Nice Guy Finishes Last.

Its been about a year now, and I am getting my own place this week.  Its been a hard year for me.  I had it all, a great wife, great kids ages 8 and 5, and house with a big yard.  Then is all came crashing down.   First I got layed off from my job.  I was able to get another job, but it was a cut in pay and some lifestyle changes needed to be made.  My wife who does have a good paying job herself, saw that my career was not going anywhere.  So, I needed to insisted that we cut back on the things she loves to do, travel, dining out, and buying high quality items.  I am a simple man, I really did not like to do those things my wife did.  Since we have kids, it was hard for us to do those things together anyway.   So, I just let do her own thing with some of her close friends.  So, when money got tight, is when she started to tell me that she loved me, but she was no longer "in love with me".  We stopped having sex at that point, and she basically give up on our marriage.   She started going out more with her friends, and getting intoxicated a lot more than she did in the past.  I was trying to get her to start working on our marriage, but her heart was not in it.  She a very strong willed person and once she set her mind to something that is it.  Then she got layed off from her job.  So, we decided to sell the house and take a job transfer that would move us 800 miles south.  She said she would work on the marriage was we got down there.  She help me get a job at the same company she works at, but she informed me that she wanted me to find my own place, and we would share time will the kids.  So, I just don't know how I got to this point.  I am a good guy, devoted father, and still love her even after all this.  I don't drink, smoke, and hardly ever get mad.  I guess that is the point, I am just no fun to be with.  I should just be mad at hell with her, but I just can't.  I just focus on my new job, and being the best father I can be now.  Maybe some day, she come to her senses, but I am not holding my breath.  But, really after 20 year together, just to give up and not to get it another try.  I just don't understand it, especially with kids involved.   She, tells me now she just wants to move on with out me now.

packfan9740 packfan9740
41-45, M
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

You cannot blame yourself. I am figuring that out. I am separating after 16 years of marriage and it just sucks. My whole life is in shambles. Now I have to take my children and find another place to live and start over. I wish you luck.