Short Circuiting

I have always dealt with pain. my entire life has been spent trying to keep it at bay. i have suffered from migraines and i have had a good run on all types of medication to keep it under control.
6 years ago, i had my son, and my migraines went away. i could not have been happier.
the migraines are back. how do you tell your doctor that your maigrains are back, but they are are in different parts of your body. they look at me and scratch their heads. they send me in for all types of tests. all of them are inconclusive. to tell me that an MRI says nothing but the fact that i have moderate sinusitis makes me want to vomit. why in the hell would i be coming to them to tell them about the way i feel all the time? why would i pay a $10 copay every single time i show up just to be told that there is nothing they can do?

i have been incorrectly diagnosed as:
unstable to the point of my doctor referring to me to psychology when she found there was nothing she could do to get me to stop coming in.

it is my neck,
it is my jaw,
it is my arms,
it is my back,
it is my arms,
it is my legs,

you name it, it is giving me problems.
every once in a while i will go on a tear about it.
i will wait until i can't wait anymore to tell someone about how i am feeling because i feel like no one will ever believe me.
i don't want the attention.
i want to feel better.

i sit here and type this now,
my neck and shoulders are aching.

do i buy a new bed?
does that sound like a fix for the constant chronic pain i am in?
i have been desperate in the past.
if i had the money, i would surely find my way inot a sleep number bed stoor or to a super memory whatchamacallit mattress sotre
hell, you might just find me in the dead sea.

i need answers and i can't get any.
i want to feel better and it am told that a lot of it is in my head. psychosomatic.
i will give you psychosomatic.

if i could go to sleep and stay that way for about a week, i would probably feel better.
sometimes i just don't know what to do and today i am sharing because i have to get it out.

vdubgrl vdubgrl
36-40, F
Apr 9, 2007