Being Shy...

...is not a good thing.

Some people mistake it for modesty, humility, but there is a definite difference. For me, shy means easily startled, timid, shying away from people.

It also means "weak". To me, anyway.

Fundamentally, there is no reason for my to be shy. I am one of the lucky ones; surrounded by a loving family, both parents, two siblings that I adore, and there is hardly a day when we laugh together with the family warmth that is greatly envied.

It could have the result of bullying, meeting the wrong teachers who yelled at students who dared ask questions, I am not sure.

My theory is that I have a weak self-esteem, and it's an automatic body mechanism of mine to shut people out so my self-confidence won't be more eroded than it already is. I get easily offended, which leads to me being easily hurt. So I take great measures to hide myself, make myself invisible to the public eye. So far, I have done well.

How silly I sound! I am only a teenager, and countless teenager like me suffer much more hardships than such as these. If anyone who reads this gets offended, I am sorry.

I am especially shy around people who are the opposite gender. Boys, I tend to think, are very strange creatures. When I do try to talk on the rare occasion, I stumble over my words and become a clumsy, irritating idiot. Much better to keep my mouth shut and be quiet.

That is not to say I have a friends; there are a few that I talk, even laugh with. They know my social handicap, and they often poke fun at it. I'm not mad, because it's who I am, I guess.

Being anti-social will not get me far in the real world out there, that is true. But...it's okay. I'm shy, but I have my small circle of people I can rely on. I write stories on a website that people laugh, and I have enough sense to not disclose too much of myself to my Internet friends (I have no wish to go thorugh the same path of those who had gone through cyber-bullying. Very mean.)

"If you can't talk to people or guys, how will you date? Or marry?" Good question. How will I do that, I am not sure. But for now, I can push those thoughts aside. I'm not a fantasy character where a shy girl is whisked into a magical land and magically gains confidence through a series of bizarre events, but I am happy. I have a loving family, few but trusting friends, and my imagination to keep me company. Being shy is not an advantage, but it's okay. I'll be fine.

Of course, this is just me convincing myself. But if you tell a child the same thing continuously, she'll believe it some time or later, and it just might be true.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013