Very Shy At First

 I am a 21year old girl. when i come to a new place i will hardly talk with people and  looks very dull..
Like the new job i found now. i don't know how to communicate with my collagues and i can't even look into their eyes not talk of my boss.
when asked something i think i know fully well, i don't know how to say it out to the hearing of others.
it is really bodering me. Can someone tell me how to appear clever and smart
thank you.
liznne liznne
18-21, F
6 Responses Aug 12, 2010

when you are alone and singing to a song sing loud and think you have an amazing voice even if its not true. another thing i did was with my family i just got really loud it made them laugh and it also annoyed the hell out of them but i had to get used to it. im mean i was straight up obnoxious. after a while i simmered down with them and was just really normal and i started to find i could be normal around strangers too. it started with store clerks. not at clothing stores and such but at the grocery store. i made small talk i wasnt very good at it but because of that it sometimes turned into very interesting conversations that i secretly wished would end so i could book it out of there but i still did it. teachers were my seccond choice. look at how many students purposely make their teachers hate them. if you arent rude and you just smile they are going to be very nice back and it helps. also when you do feel comfortable with someone say everything that comes to mind. that weird spot on your leg or a random thought you just had. youll start to realize your thoughts arent dumb they are just like everyone elses maybe even more clever and witty.

I completely agree with you Liznne! I have just started a new job and I am paralysed with fear when trying to look at co-workers in the eye, let alone make conversation. I find myself making silly little mistake over the most simple tasks, things I know how to do, due to my crippling nerves. I then get called up on it by my collegues and I look completely stupid. <br />
I think we both need a serious injection of self-confidence (that's what I try and tell myself!) in order to push aside our fears. <br />
I hope your relationships with your co-workers has improved!

longhornfan that's interesting i will do as you say.<br />
thanks

I used to very shy, but I found that if you look at someone, pick out something on their head or face that you can focus on, not necessarily their eyes, (but I have met some with the most beautiful eyes that I could not keep from focusing on) and just say hello. That's all, just hello. When they ask you a question, take a second to focus on that spot, then tell them what they want to know. As you get to know them better, you start focusing on their eyes.<br />
Practice, practice, practice! How, you ask? Yesterday at the gas station as I was filling up the car, someone pulled up to the pump on the other side of the island from me. I didn't know him, knew I would never see him again, but he had very interesting gray hair (not that mine isn't quite gray too). So I said to him "Hi, how are you doing today?" conversation started... <br />
He replied, "fine and you?", okay now for the answer... He doesn't care that my body aches today or that my sinuses are shot because of the allergens in the air.... So I have to find something innocuous to say that might keep the conversation going...<br />
"Well, I'm pretty cool now, the temperature being reasonable and all, but I know that it's going to get hot again later." This isn't about me, this is about the most common item of discussion, the weather. And off we went to have a great little discussion as we were both pumping gas at the station. Until I finished, at which point, I bid him goodbye and wished him a good day.<br />
No problem, you can do that. Stay off the personal, keep to the innocuous, and have fun talking to people....

RadioEthiopia thank you for your advice.

Just think about the sentence you'll tell in your head and then talk to them. I have the same problem, i'm very shy and i don't how to speak to new people.