Boys Are The Problem!!!!!

I've had this very strange problem of shying when it comes to communicating with men. I frequently shy away from interacting with boys even if it is needed. i dont know why but i get nervous. And sometimes even if i try to interact with them , i get confused. i become voiceless and one can easily judge my puzzled face.

But its not the same all the time. i mean, once they become familiar to me, i find myself in a much better situation. But again its not possible to know every guy in the world. there are so many public places  where i have to deal with men, on my own ( without being personal) . and its not possible to know everyone in such places like  banks, restaurants, my academic institution. For example whenever i go to my bank , i become nervous- only thinking how will i interact with the cashier.
i dont know when will i get rid of this problem?

hiddentears hiddentears
26-30, F
8 Responses May 21, 2010

I know what you mean i was very shy when i was younger but as time went on I started to come out of my shell and it become a lot easier to interact with people I think in time you will be fine

lol i have friend who used to be like you,, he would go mute when he is arround girls.He cant open and say a single word.But now he has a gf.In the beginning of his relationship for four months he didnt even speak with his her face to he is okay,,,

I have the same problem but from a man's perspective I'm very shy too

You may be Self-Concious. Well, just to add my story, hopefully it will be useful.<br />
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When I started having more respect for women (during growing up), I started feeling a little nervous than usual. Before i didnt care how they thought and what they believed. But after increase of respect I ended up going through the similar if not the same experience when i came across women. But with time, putting some effort and just being yourself socially, one can get they way around it :D<br />
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Peace & Love :D

i had the same problem with girls... but since i stop thinking the other person is having any gender .. like when i go to any place like as u said bank.. i intereact with females without thinking she is female but rather she is a cashier...<br />
once you keep in ur mind you to deal with the profession rather then gender it will surely help ..<br />
<br />
hope it will help :)

Hey, I have the same problem and I can relate to you. I feel intimidated by men. I get so nervous and scared while talking, dealing, working with them. After I joined EP, I did some research here on the topic and posted something related to that and have been applying those advice and tips to my daily life. I smile and say Hi's, hello's to them. Try to joke around and behave the way as a normal not-so-nervous girl would. I try to dress up well for myself. That gives me immense confidence. If the guy is handsome or if there is someone I crush on, I have started programming my brain :) to know that it's just physical attraction, that has helped a lot and I can just talk to them without getting nervous. I, also, like the advice that the other members have posted here. Hope I've helped you. Take care.

I used to be the exact same way, and still can be sometimes. Unfortunately I don't have any simple solution for how to get over it. All I can tell you is if you keep forcing yourself to address the situation head on, it will become easier over time. I like the comment from daddyd, getting comfortable just saying hi to someone, might actually help. I used to also find if I sort of "scripted" my talks with people, like in situations with the bank cashier, know what you want to get done, and "rehearse" what you're going to say. It might help you get through things less awkwardly if you don't have to "wing it" in the moment. As you build your confidence it will become easier. Good luck.

i dont think i am so brave. i know i talk like a looser. but i will try my best to overcome my problem...