Why Are You So Quiet?

I've had that type of question directed at me more times than i can count. Along with sarcastic remarks like "Shut up man", among others. I don't understand how people with good social skills don't get the fact that it bothers me when they say stuff like that. Especially my own friends. It has to be obvious that I'm uncomfortable. My voice lowers and i often try to make some sort of defensive remark back that usually ends up sounding like a bunch of gibberish and then i feel even more anxious. This only happens when I'm around people that i don't know. I'm a fun and outgoing person around people i'm comfortable with. The truth is I love and want to be around people but I'm just so shy that its hard and i don't think anybody else realizes that. They all get a bad perception from me that makes them think that i'm not interested in them. When really i'm just to scared to talk to them and thats really just it. I get anxious around people i'm not comfortable with. And people with good social skills don't seem to have the patience to get to know me because it can take awhile for me to open up. I can't go to social events anymore with out feeling awkward. I cant remember the last time i felt good at a party. I'm scared to get drunk around large groups of people in fear of the painful shame all reflect on the next day if i did anything embarrassing. I will even avoid people for awhile if i did something terribly embarrassing in front of them. The truth is i want to improve i'm just scared to take that next step and actually do something other than look like a ghost in the corner. I want to talk and finally speak whats on my mind. I just don't know how.
JP1990 JP1990
4 Responses Jan 15, 2013

That' s exactly how I feel.

I feel like this post is about me.
There are definitely others like you out there!
I just got used to feeling uncomfortable in social situations. I realized, once I learn to accept myself (social quirks and all), things other people say won't bother me

I can totally relate to everything you've said. The thing you said about reflecting on your behavior the next day - so true for me. I don't socialize much but when I do, the following day every little detail runs and reruns through my head. I unwantingly examine and reexamine what I did and said and how others reacted to it. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone else speak of this, so thank you. =)

ooh!! you are talking about me :((